"Just Dance, Gonna Be Okay..."

By: Monica

Time to break down the basics for all of you guys who don't seem to understand why you can't get the girl to dance with you or you don't know how to approach her in general. From a girl's point of view, this is "how it goes down":

1. Just like in life in general, the shy ones are the easiest to reject. We figure they've been through this situation a million times and, therefore can handle the rejection without making a big deal or making us feel guilty about it. Lesson learned: When approaching a girl to dance, always do it with confidence. This way she'll know you plan to take the lead on the dance floor and she won't have to carry the burden of "un-awkwardizing" the situation. You ask, therefore you take responsibility. Act like you know what you're doing.

2. Here's a little trick I've noticed over the years: When asking her out to the dance floor, hold your hand out infront for her to take. I know it may sound a bit old school but this makes it much harder for her to decline the offer. If you're just standing there she can say, "no thank you," or, "I'm tired,", etc. but if your hand is there in offering, she can't ignore it and decline. That would be too awkward for her to reject because she knows it would be rude. Therefore she is inclined to take it and figures one little dance wouldn't hurt compared to the jerk you might think she is if she didn't accept.

3. It is much easier for a girl to decline a dance if she feels no emotional connection with you. Just like it makes it a bit easier for a mother to get an abortion if she and her husband don't know it's a boy named Michael who will join his highschool football team and become a successful lawyer. Just like it's much easier for someone to accuse a stranger of wrong doing than their own friend. Just like it is for someone to not be as aware of their manners or actions infront of those they do not know than infront of their friends and family. Get the point? In essence, you'll probably never see them again. To you they are just another person. Therefore, introduce yourself. Tell her your name. Something creative is always a surprise factor that will not let her have enough time to make up an excuse, but a normal, "Hey I'm Josh, wanna dance?" is emotional attachment enough for her to feel guilty if she declines.

4. This is an important one: Don't keep coming back for dances. She'll figure she already granted you a couple,there is no obligation for her to grant you another one. She doesn't owe you anything anymore. Essentially you set yourself up for rejection by portraying yourself as the annoying kid who has a mega crush on her. The more you ask, the greater your chances are for a "no thanks, my feet hurt". If she really enjoyed herself that much, next time have her come to you. If she doesn't, figure it's her loss and move on.

5. This last one happens more often than you think: It's not you, it's her. In this situation, she doesn't decline because she doesn't want to dance with you. Quite contrary, maybe she really does. Yet, maybe she is insecure with herself or her dancing skills and doesn't want to embarrass herself infront of you. In this scenerio, there is not much you can do. If a little coaxing doesn't work, I'm afraid it's a lost cause. So, again, move on and cough it up to her being the one who's missing out.