Schönes Wochenende!

By: Kelly

One thing I was really excited about for college was the fact that I could actually be stylish. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt for the last seven years has taken a bit of a toll on me and I was ready to wear dresses, skirts, etc. That sounds laughable to me now. I mean, tons of girls do it and they all look really cute but for some reason it has completely turned me off from wanting to put any effort into my appearance. Maybe it's all those girls I saw dressed up for rush, I don't know. I keep wanting to walk around like a total slob. Aren’t people supposed to wear sweatpants everywhere in college?! I am going to abide by that tradition even if every other girl here looks like a pageant queen; I really could not care less. I like the hobo chique look. I went to the library for the first time the other day and it now makes my top five favorite spots on campus, which I will now list:

1.Library West- I immediately felt at home. With my mom being a librarian, I grew up in libraries and I know I’m going to be spending a lot of time there. There are SO many books and they smell so good and old and pretty. The shelves go on and on and when I was there, I felt exactly like Harry Potter in the Department of Mysteries when he passes the shelves of prophecies, because each one contains a life and a story (NERD). It was so nice sitting in a comfy chair looking out at the campus beyond the sheets of rain, sipping on my coffee and sneaking pieces of a chocolate chip cookie when no one was looking.

2. 2. The alligator pond- This is right in front of my dorm and is this green mossy pond surrounded by foliage and animal sounds complete with an alligator who sunbathes on the grass every day. I like sitting on the little dock that overlooks it. He is the closest I have to a pet now that I'm away from my dog and Natalie's fish Gerald died. The only downside is having to watch the idiots who walk by and see who can get closest to the alligator without dying.

3. 3. The conservation area- I put a picture of this from my phone on the last post and it’s my favorite walk to take. I also like reading at some picnic tables there because it’s very secluded. I plan on reading Mockingjay there because I’ll feel like I’m in the hunger games with the surrounding environment.

4. 4. “The Swamp” aka our stadium- It’s overwhelmingly blue and orange and humongous and a great place to work out (or so I’ve heard) and just contemplate life (what you’ll actually catch me doing). Unfortunately I’ll probably only ever be there when it’s deserted because I didn’t win football tickets but I REALLY want to find some somehow because even though I don’t care about football, I still think it’d be a lot of fun.

5. 5. Every single food place here- Mochi, Home Zone, Chipotle, Moe’s, Steak and Shake, etc. The food here is fantastic.

Now let’s talk about my weekend! Friday night I went over to Destiny’s apartment which is reallyyy nice. She’s a great host and fed us tons of food. I can be such a baby sometimes because it was so comforting to me having someone act like a mom, even if she is my age. I know how pathetic that is.

The thing is though, you know how Rebecca always used to call that group of kids the All-American Squad? And how even though we love them all it can get a tiny bit annoying? Well, I’m almost at that point because they want to hang out EVERY DAY. I have received more text messages since being here than I have in my entire life. It’s the exact opposite of what I expected. I thought I’d have to go out and find friends through a really excruciating process but instead I've been juggling different invitations and trying to include everyone. I’m really not complaining though, just surprised by how effortless everything has been so far. And yes, I sound like the world's biggest douche. Whatever.

At one point on Friday night I went in Destiny’s room to call you, and before I did I overheard Destiny’s older, glamorous roommate Rocio gossiping to her friends about Destiny and Helga. She was talking about how innocent and naïve they are and how “Destiny is chill and has potential because she’s up for anything (meaning smoking and rolling with them) while Helga is a lost cause” (which is kind of ironic considering five minutes before Helga had excitedly told me how they used to have a book on their coffee table with all of the sex positions). It made my stomach drop a little because although 90% of the time I’m really confident in who I am and the decisions I make, every now and then I’ll doubt myself like any normal person. Like I know that there is nothing particularly abnormal or wrong with never wanting to get plastered but occasionally people like Rocio make me feel like a child. I wonder, “Am I just being a chicken? Should I just push myself to explore things just for fun and to gain experience?” But really, it’s not a matter of being scared. I really just have no interest in it whatsoever. I don’t know. It’s just funny how you go through life and you never really know what you’re doing and you never really feel grown-up, ever.

Then on Saturday I rediscovered my superhuman academic self (apparently my worries were unfounded and senioritis did not eat away all of my perfectionistic tendencies, just the toxic ones. It actually cleansed me haha) and did almost all of my homework for the week. It’s funny because I will feel incredibly behind until I’m at least a week ahead in homework. I have this urgent impulse that won't go away until I'm finished.

Anyway, that morning my roommate made crepes with her friends Michael and Julie and so I got a delicious breakfast of thin pancakes, bananas, and nutella. Then that evening, I heard a knock on the door and lo and behold, it was the John kid I mentioned in my last post. He awkwardly stood there and said, “I was wondering if you wanted some vegetables.” I kind of stared at him blankly for a few seconds because I was trying to process who would ask that type of a question so he explained, “I bought a bunch and the recipe I’m using has portions for more than one person.” So I said sure and that I’d be right out. I came out and found him cooking them in the kitchen with legit ingredients like cumin and soy sauce. I stood there for like five minutes before he was like, “You don’t have to wait out here if you don’t want to”. So I went back to my room and told him to knock when it was ready. My roommate came back so I told her the story and we were hysterically laughing when he knocked. We were laughing so hard though that I didn’t hear him so while Natalie was screaming “WHO THE F*** DOES THAT?!”, he was yelling obliviously from outside that it was ready. I bravely made my way to the common area trying desperately to keep a straight face. The squash and zucchini was actually really good. Let me just point out that this was the second time in one day someone had cooked for me, so for the hundreds of guys out there who have told me I need domestic skills to be a proper woman, suck it.

The conversation however, was just as bad as last time. We discussed jury nullification, Andrew Jackson’s secret libertarian plan, mankind’s inborn ability to understand physics through evolutionary psychology, the short-lived presidency of William Henry Harrison, the revolving door of politics, Atlas Shrugged, the flaws of Das Kapital, our bloated military bureaucracy, and many other things. All within a 20 minute period. As I complained to Monica over facebook chat, “He was SO dry” (NOT that’s what she said). Afterwards, I went back to my room and five minutes later, heard another knock. I opened the door and there he was, brandishing a knife. I was about to slam the door in his face until he said, “You forgot your knife.” Oy vey, I have some interesting characters on my floor (For example we also have a kid who juggles while he runs every day. I am not joking.) But hey, at least I’m staying healthy and eating my fruits and veggies. I’m not one to complain. Natalie and I are planning on having a pumpkin delivered to his room on April Fool’s Day.

So then last night, I hung out with a bunch of Natalie’s friends in their dorm and we spent a few hours passing around each others’ cell phones and reading the drunk texts from their friends. They consisted of things like, “I go thai patty and heap foxy” and “e broski aol disobey phone”. It was hilarious. One of them took a shower with his clothes on when he got back and wandered around the entire campus before making it back to the dorm and another kid was practically crying when we locked him in the bathroom because he thought he was in a dungeon. This reminds me of why I should not feel like a loser for not drinking. Still, I might go next time they go to a party just to see what it’s like in college (the high school ones did not impress me) and laugh at everyone. I'm almost positive it'll just be like a one time thing though.

And Natalie’s friends are all really nice. I’d feel comfortable going to a party with them. One of the guys, Matt, has a girlfriend at West Point and I feel really bad because while all of his buddies are out partying, he hangs out with us while we sing Disney songs, read Cosmo, and watch Chicago. But he’s a really sweet kid and a good sport and I know he and the other guys who don’t drink, Keith and Joe, would make sure we were okay if we went to a party. It's so weird being around genuinely attractive, decent guys. Also, all of them are Catholic and go to Mass together every weekend. I might go one week just to see what it’s like because even though I’m Protestant, I don’t have any scruples about trying something a little different.

My roommate just brought me some delicious hot tea that tastes like Christmas. I feel like I got the much better bargain in this roommate situation compared to what I have to offer to her…which is basically nothing. Anyway, now that I’m FINALLY caught up on most of my homework I’m going to catch up on Jersey Shore and read Mockingjay. Schönes Wochenende! (Okay, so that means have a beautiful weekend which doesn't really make sense considering the weekend is over, but I'm so excited that I've started thinking in German that I do not care. I've got my first quiz tomorrow; wish me luck)

Misc.

By: Kelly

Whew. It's been a while, or it feels like it anyway. This is literally the first time I've had a chance to blog since Monday and even now I have a million other things I should be doing but I'm too tired and need a break. Since I have a bunch of miscellaneous things to share, let's make this a bullet post. Everyone likes bullets right?

• First off- German. My professor is a grad student who might be attractive but I can't tell because he has a really bushy beard (ew). He's pretty built though. Anyway, I love that class because despite what most people think, it is such a beautiful and interesting language. I can't wait to actually speak it in Germany some day. Today we listened to German hip hop to learn popular abbreviations in Germany. The song is really funny if you know what the abbreviations are short for; it's mainly about drugs.
• I dropped my American literature class after the first day...The teacher was kind of a bitch, we had to read 55+ pages of reading a night, and I wasn't really interested in the material. I've met all my English credit requirements so there was no point to me reading like ten books about minorities (after I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Invisible Man, I am all racism'd out). I don't care if that is offensive or politically incorrect. The great thing is, I now only have one class Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and am done by 11:40.
• My comparative politics class is a huge lecture hall style class which I'm kind of happy about because it'll be a new experience. Everyone I know is blown away by how many people are here, but I honestly thought there would be more. Quantities never really impress me; I guess because I can't grasp how huge they are (that's what she said).
• I really love using my kindle for the books I have to read for that class because I can highlight, take notes, and look up definitions on it all with one click. I highly recommend it everyone.
• The whole "Wow this is so collegiate" thought crossed my mind for the first time today as I was walking across campus. The funny thing is, I feel like I've been pretending to be a college student for so long now that it doesn't feel new or unusual. I came up with my first "college student trick" today. I had leftover food from Applebees that I didn't want to eat but couldn't throw away because it would stink up the room, so what did I do? Used the toilet as a garbage disposal. Pretty innovative, right?
• I have never walked so much in my life. Like you know that clock the Weasleys have? (I don't know if it's in the movies) The one where the hand points to whatever location you are at? Mine would point at "In transit" like 25% of the time. I don't even want to think about how much time I waste with it. I haven't minded it yet because they're nice/pretty walks and give me time to think but eventually I'll probably want to figure out the bus system so I can at least read or something.
• My history professor seems really nice; I think she's going to be my favorite. She treats us with so much respect and she seems really enthusiastic about history which is good. The class is on the Crusades which I was really disappointed in before, but she makes it sound like it will be really interesting. Monica, she actually reminds me a lot of Samantha in looks and personality (in a good way).
• I really like how everyone "does their own thing" here. Like, it's no big deal to study/eat by yourself. I always LIKED doing that and now I can without people thinking I'm some kind of freak.
• Today at lunch, this BEAUTIFUL boy sat next to me. I didn't say two words to him though because it was one of those instances where it was better to just let the mystery continue rather than ruin it with small talk.
• I ate dinner with Justin today (heute, in German) at this luau thing and he is so much funnier/more talkative than I gave him credit for.
• Not only do I miss different ethnicities, but I miss age differences. Like every time I see an old person or a baby, I grin like a maniac. It's disturbing. Same with dogs; I could barely keep myself from petting a seeing eye dog I saw earlier even though I knew fully well you aren't supposed to do that.
• My wildlife issues class is going to be good I think. As I mentioned on facebook, my professor (who reminds me A LOT of Coach Barr with his crotchety, dry humor) basically said "Our next class is canceled. Skip class whenever; I don't take attendance. You can answer your phones, just go outside. We're watching movies every other class. The final exam is optional. Now get out of here." Plus, my friend took this class already and gave me a stack of *cough cough* notes so praise Allah for that.
• Our mascot "Albert" the alligator proposed to me and made me kiss him. When I told him I loved him so he would go away, he clutched his heart and fell on the ground. All 500 freshman waiting in line for free pizza were staring and laughing. Oh yeah, I'm quite the playa here at UF.
• Destiny quit rushing which I was happy about because now we have more time to hang out (which equates to, now when I want to go off campus I don't have to risk my life in Jake's car).
• Last night we had a floor meeting where we got lectured about drugs and alcohol. We also had to fill out a questionnaire with our roommate to avoid conflict. One of the questions was, "How will you approach your roommate about an issue?" A. Talk about it B. Use a special signal C. Go to your RA or D. Ignore it. We obviously chose special signal, so now we have an entire coding system. Mildly annoyed equals casual dance move (the robot, disco, shopping cart, etc.), pissed off equals more intense dance move (salsa, moshing, booty dancing, etc.) and incredibly angry equals all out crumping/break dancing. Very subtle, you know.
• After the meeting I talked to this kid John about all sorts of things. He was a libertarian and hugely into expressing his opinion about anything that could be deemed intellectual. He spent like an hour name dropping all of these famous thinkers and books while I continually matched him name for name just to annoy him and show him he wasn't the smartest kid on campus (because he clearly thought he was and was one of those kids who loves the sound of their own voice). We literally went back and forth talking about net neutrality, nation building, Islamic restrictions in Africa, the psychology of economics in the food industry, and female circumcision while the rest of the people in the common room eavesdropped in what was probably horror. Oh, college. It is the only place I will overhear a bunch of kids arguing about Zerg. I actually really miss stupid people. Smart kids just aren't anywhere near as fun to laugh at...
• Tomorrow I've got four classes, a job fair, and a church event to go to, and I have to find time for laundry so it'll be a busy day.
• I THINK that's it for now. I need to read Mockingjay and catch up on my tv shows but I'll most likely just end up studying for another three hours. Miss you :(

Stereotypes and All the Truth behind Them

By: Monica

Here, at my University, 90% of East Indian students are Pre-Med. 90% of the Chinese students are Business Majors. The other 10% are either Pre-Med or Music Performance Majors. These truthful stereotypes are not the only ones taking effect here. They are not all academically oriented either. Just last night, at two in the morning, a group of drunken Russians came knocking on my door. One was intoxicated more than the others, and proclaimed his love for me. “You will never forget me or this night!” he yelled, while attempting to stare deeply into my eyes. It was quite romantic (if you like that kind of thing. You know, the thing where your boyfriend is only in love with you when he’s drunk). By this time, his friends were already apologizing profusely for his behavior and were attempting to drag him away. He still managed to yell back, “Will you forget me?!” as his friend had a hold on his waist. “Probably not!” I replied, going with the flow. It’s not every day that such an event happens in my life. Might as well play along. While closing the door, I overheard one of them say, “She’s sweet”, which put a smile on my face, even if it was a bunch of drunk dudes in the middle of the night.

A couple of odd things have occurred since my last post. First and foremost, I have learned that the bookstore here (that plays John Mayer and Regina Spektor) carries a plethora of items not typically available at a regular bookstore. Items such as motorcycles, clothing hangers, and books about feces. Yes, there is a picture book titled, “The Poop Book for Adults” which illustrates the different states of fecal matter and what they look like. There are also books made from feces. Elephant feces, to be exact. A stack of journals, made from what looked like eco-friendly paper, had, “Made from real poo!” written on the cover. This caught my attention and, when I turned it over, I noticed the tag, “Made from real Elephant poo!” The price tag read $25. I could not help but wonder who would buy a journal made of elephant feces for 25 bucks. Then again, people will buy anything. Who knows? It might be a booming market. Still, I think if I were Fareed Zakaria, I would be insulted that my book is lying under a pile of elephant dung. Even if it is molded and dried in a different shape.

I went for my advising appointment today and quickly stopped by the restroom. Taped to the side of one of the toilet stalls, a sign read, “If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seat please.” Kudos to the creative mind that put that little jingle together. It was stuck in my head during the entire appointment.

"When in doubt, go in not out"

By: Kelly

Well, well. What has happened within the past few days? Time is flying by here; I can't believe I've been here almost a week already. It feels like it's been 2 days. There has been a lot of movie watching and a lot of eating good food. Classes start tomorrow and I am REALLY nervous. When I try to think about why I'm nervous I can't really figure out why. My classes (at least tomorrow) aren't difficult to find and it's not like we had any summer homework we're going to be tested on. Part of it is that professors seem so much more intimidating than the idiotic (well, mostly) teachers I had in high school that I would ridicule on a regular basis since I knew more than they did. At my school it was really easy to get good grades and stay on top of the class so we'll see if I can handle it being around tons of smart kids. Right now I feel pretty confident because I know my perfectionist tendencies.

One thing I've realized is that even if you can count all of the people you know here with both hands, you WILL see them all over the place, even with a huge campus and 50,000 kids. It doesn't make any sense, but it happens. I ran into the Mohammad kid again and he looked at me weirdly and was like, "Do I know you?" and when I said his name he looked at me like I was a complete weirdo. It's funny when people seem almost insulted that you remember them when it should be the other way around.

Today after dinner at Pita Pit the sky looked like it was going to pour buckets so I planned on hurrying back to my dorm at the opposite end of the campus but I got extremely lost off campus in a pretty sketchy area (at least to me). Some guy yelled "You ride that bike REEEAAALLLLL good gurl!" and I was pretty miserable as my bike lock repeatedly fell of the back of my bike and my brakes screeched loudly (I need to get them fixed). All I can say is THANK GOD for the kindness of strangers. For every wolf-whistling car rider there is a kind walker who will help you pick up your bike lock as it goes flying into the street. I ended up following this really nice and cool-looking girl named Malia back to her dorm and then figured out how to get back from there. My new motto is "when in doubt, go in not out". Ew, not like that you sick-o. I mean, when I'm lost, rather than veer away towards the main roads so I can take direct paths, I'm going to take the meandering paths through campus.

Anyway, nothing of too much interest to report. I'm watching Harry Potter and waiting for the premiere of the next season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians while perusing my German textbook. I like college. But I miss everything at home. I wonder how long it will be before I stop feeling like I'm just waiting for Thanksgiving when life will be "normal" again. I have to realize this IS the new normal. I'll end this scatterbrained post on an upbeat note by saying I was incredibly excited today to hear that the Onion cast is coming to UF this year! Heck yes. Miss you Monica, we have to skype again soon!!

“How Fareed Zakaria Stole My Graduation Speech” And Other Short Stories

By: Monica

My second day on campus went something like this:

I woke up at the bright time of 7:30 and took a shower (the showers here are one of my favorite places to be because the water runs so hot, it feels like it’s burning your skin). I then went to the Orientation check in where they nicely showed me where to go pick up my campus ID card and handed mea map. This sounds simple enough, except I ran around the entire campus for three whole hours looking for this building that ended up being by the freeway outside one side of the campus. In this time frame, it managed to be 102 degrees outside and start pouring rain. I had no umbrella. I was miserable. So, finally after finding this diamond in the rough, I waited in a line and had my picture taken for my ID. You can bet I looked absolutely stunning with frizzy hair, a tired face, and sticky skin. Just gorgeous.

Anyway, I made my way to the dining hall and ate breakfast while reading over the pamphlet I had just received. At the very bottom of the page in small letters I notice the sentence Music Business meeting. Mandatory. 8:30AM. I glanced at the wall clock over head which read 9:42. My next reaction went something like, “SHIT!” as I rushed out the door to the music building and ran around to five different places before someone sent me to the right building. Later, I found out I had to take a two hour, forty-five minute Theory test (which I did and feel pretty good about, by the way).

The rest of the day was less hectic until seven, when we went to the “Kick-Off”. Let’s just say, it was big and loud. Much like everything else at this school. The entire time, through the noise, a girl Kelly and I will now call “Marie” (After Marie Curie, the female scientist) was bragging how slutty and beautiful people think she is. I just sat back and nodded to everything she had to say, thoroughly disgusted. When we met boys, she would tell them she was willing to give them blow jobs. When we introduced ourselves to our floor and had to state a weird fact about us, she exclaimed proudly, “I’m a toooooooooootal slut.” And when none of that was going on, all she was talking about was how little she eats or how much her ex-boyfriend is in love with her. If I wasn’t listening to her ranting, I was forced to focus my attention on the teachers on the podium, listing all the lists we have beat Kelly’s school in. And I was told I couldn’t be friends with her because it would hinder my allegiance. This was told to me by the psychology professor. Though, I think our school should get some credit for our President’s last name being Shalala. That is pretty bizarre, you must admit.

After this Kick Off, we were sent to the “Ice Cream Social” where they locked us out of our dorm building for 3 and a half hours (in the dark, humid air, might I add) to mingle. Now, I don’t know about all of you, but I do not want to be forced to mingle. I’d much rather meet genuine people by accident rather than staring at someone with a fake smile for twenty minutes. Regardless of my dissatisfaction, there was nothing I could do and, therefore, discussed the Florida weather and the oil situation with a guy from Wisconsin for an hour. He was eye candy, let me tell you, but if you ask me questions like, “So, no one got cancer from being exposed to too much oil?”, don’t expect me to hold you in high regard.

That night (around 12) my roommate brought her two Chinese friends into our dorm so they could talk. I had no problem with this since I was chatting with others on Facebook, but I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation. Once the topic landed on Harry Potter slash fan fiction, I put my headphones on and tuned them out with some Hawk Nelson (Yes Kelly, its true). However, I wasn’t fast enough putting them on. Apparently Jacob Black from Twilight and Draco Malfoy from HP would be a “sexy combination”. EW.

The next day, we went to hear Fareed Zakaria speak. Now, I must say, he is a phenomenal speaker. He also had a great speech. Maybe I would have focused more on the context of what he said, less than the actual words, if he hadn’t ripped off the graduation speech I wrote and performed at my Graduation. That’s right; Fareed Zakaria stole my graduation speech. He talked about how our generation is a box and how it can be shaped into anything we want. He talked about our generation’s resiliency and innovation (my exact words). He spoke about texting and Faceook and how it is a positive impact though parents frown upon it. Yes, he even mentioned a Kindle. Throw a John Green reference in there and it was entirely my speech. Kelly knows.

After the speech, I overheard (yes, there is a lot of overhearing in college. I overheard a Hecht student [rival building] telling a newcomer that Stanford [my building] was where they put all the computer nerds. Kelly knows that I am the farthest thing from a computer nerd. I have no idea how the internet actually makes sense, it’s just there and I use it. I don’t ask questions. Give me a broken laptop and I’ll stare at it and walk away. I don’t even twitter.) A college female gush to her mom, “…and, like, OMG! He was talking about, like, political connectivity and whatever!” and the mom replied, “See, honey? This is why I’m going to miss you so terribly much! Who else am I going to have intelligent conversations with?!” At this point I burst out laughing and the both looked at me. I just pointed to the stage and said, “The cable guy tripped” (referring to the guy fixing the microphone). The next speech was relayed by the professor of religious studies, and boy was that a speech! His sentences were filled with innuendos such as, “You will be growing yourselves, guys!” (At which point the men looked down toward their groin areas) and “We like to learn because we get sexually aroused when we understand things.” It was interesting. But the fun was cut short when they decided to threaten us with death.

Speaker: “There once was a girl who did very well in college, but the last year she began to slack off. She died two weeks before graduating because her boyfriend attacked her.” I see, and that is supposed to make me want to work more diligently? Okay.

In case you were wondering how I remembered all of this (because my memory is shot), I shall tell you. I wrote it down on a K-Mart coupon advertisement while the speakers were talking. An RA even gave me a dirty look for not paying attention.

(I would like to apologize for the choppiness of this post. It was currently 2AM when I wrote it.)

Positive things about college:

1. They played John Mayer nonstop for three hour in the bookstore. (Yes, I spent three hours in the bookstore and did not buy a single thing.)

2. There is more eye candy here than the total population of boys at my high school.

3. Most of them are nice. (I was walking to the bookstore at 8 AM and every guy I passed was jogging and greeted me J)

4. I went and saw a hypnotist. I am a believer. And it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I can’t even explain it in writing because it would be too long and the retelling wouldn’t be the same but, take my word for it, it was AWESOME.

5. I went to a Salsa party. I was hot. And sweaty. But I liked it.

6. I made three friends. YAY! (These don’t count the ones I was forced to meet and hang out with.) It just makes sense that one is from Queens, NY and dances hip hop, one is a gangster, and one has a Slovak last name.

Jake's Dick and Too Many White People

Aghh! I wish I was in Miami right now just so I could talk to you; text just isn't the same :( I'm going to a UM-UF soccer game tonight and I got irrationally excited when I realized we were playing UM until I realized there was no conceivable way you would be there. Monica trust me, I know exactly what you mean when about the "Ohmygosh, Hi!" girls. (Also, there are way too many white people here. It makes me uncomfortable which is kind of hilarious when you think about it. I feel so much more at home around people from other places) I am already so sick of all the fake niceness. Maybe some people can genuinely enjoy "getting to know" people, but I know I never will. I tend to instantly connect with people I end up being friends with, even though I know it rarely works like that and you have to put a little effort in. Still, all of the awkwardness is killing me too, but hey I guess all we can do is embrace it. I think I'm somewhat lucky because this is something like the fifth time I've had a roommate at a college and all of the stupid horrible programs prepared me for this new stage of torture a lot. As long as you remember that EVERYONE feels as stupid as you THINK you look, you will be okay. Remember that spotlight effect in psychology? It isn't exaggerated. I don't mean to "give you advice" because obviously I have no idea what I'm doing either, but seeing as I can't talk to you in person, I come off as sounding like a parent. Sigh. You are amazing and soon everyone at UM will know that too.

I am soooo sorry if you felt insignificant in any way by me not emailing you! I figured you would be really busy with move-in and I've hardly had a minute to really relax yet. I feel like I have two lives- my physical life and my internet life and I am failing miserably at juggling them already. I miss you so much though and you're WRONG. You can do anything (okay not anything but you can do so much more than you give yourself credit for)! Fake confidence, I know you can do it :) I just heard at Convocation from a guy who built a windmill from SCRATCH by looking off of a picture of a book in Africa while the entire village was suffering from a famine. So like, our hurdles are a tiny bit lower than that at least.

Anyway, now I feel really bad blogging about everything I did yesterday when I know you don't know anyone (YET!) but maybe it will be entertaining anyway? I'll try to keep it brief (HA! Because we know THAT will happen).

I'll skip what happened during the day because none of it was all that interesting and just tell you about last night. Jake (a mutual friend of ours from high school) texted me and said he, Justin, and Paul wanted to do something so they picked me up and we went to Chipotle (it's about as good as Moe's). Jake got a haircut by the way; it looks a lot better short (God I hope people from school don't read this and mock me). But let me tell you Monica, Jake boosted my self esteem about ten notches when it comes to driving. He is HORRIBLE. Every two minutes Justin and I would be yelling out directions and screaming, "LEFT! I said left! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU CAN'T TURN THERE THAT IS A TREE!" The saddest part is, Justin and I have been here for about two days and Jake has been here all summer, and already I am correcting him on street names. He named his GPS Dick (after Richard of course) which of course led to about a hundred penis jokes. Later on, Helga joined us and was offering to let us use her google map on her phone or whatever, and I said "it's okay, we have Jake's dick to guide us", completely forgetting she had no idea what I was talking about. Oh, college humor. So while we are on the topic of sausage-fests, Jake, Paul, Justin and I then went to see the Expendables which takes every component from every action movie you have ever seen and squeezes it into one film. There was nothing original or surprising about it, but I still really liked it despite the fact that I was there with three guys.

Then we were going to meet Destiny for mochi, which happened about 45 minutes later after we had to park Jake's car really far away due to his inability to parallel park (obviously) and had to walk. Add on to that the fact that Destiny drove across town to the Mochi place near the movie theater thinking we were at that one, and you'll understand how long we were sitting outside. After we got some (not sex, mochi- which was good but nothing spectacular since I prefer my creamy chocolate-laden ice cream to fruity pansy stuff that tastes like trail mix and yogurt) we went and saw Racquel's apartment. At this point I should mention that Helga was with Destiny when we met up for mochi. There were six of us and only five seats in Destiny's car, so she jumped at the opportunity to sit on Justin's lap in the front seat. You could totally tell he wasn't crazy about the idea so he scooted over as much as possible and made her sit awkwardly next to him. This led to a bunch of really uncomfortable sex jokes from Destiny and Helga. Destiny went on and on about how we have to go to X-mart which is a sex toy shop and about how much she wishes she had a penis so she could play with this book where you put "it" through a hole that makes it look like a dragon puppet. Helga chimed in with "Yeah and chapter 13 shows ALL the sexxx positionsss" which was met with complete silence. I said the word "textual" a few minutes later and Helga actually giggled. Grow up. It's not like you see ME going around making penis and that's what she said jokes.

It was sort of awkward at Racquel's but we only stayed for about five minutes and during that five minutes, I was very grateful I don't live in an apartment. (Although at that time I realized I was missing Jersey Shore and became very disappointed, and then disappointed in myself for being disappointed) The lifestyle is the typical college lifestyle which I have no interest in. It warmed my heart (as lame as this sounds) to see our three guy friends rubbing their eyes and complaining about how tired they were when it was only like ten o'clock at night. I am a homebody myself as you know, so I harbor a soft spot for them and completely understand what you meant when you said the best part of your day was sitting in your dorm alone. I agree 90% of the time.

Then since Destiny hadn't eaten since 2, we went through the drive-thru at Steak-N-Shake. Justin wasn't going to put up with the Helga thing anymore so Paul offered to sit in the trunk (it was a hatchback so it was kind of okay). You know Paul though, so he immediately began assessing the trunk's ability to hold dead bodies and assault rifles and whatever else. We had that giddy late-night-out-with-friends-high at the time so we decided to pretend the window was stuck and couldn't roll down and made Helga pay for the meal through the sunroof. This resulted in one of the best that's what she said jokes of all time (which is saying something since I say about five on a daily basis). She couldn't get out of the sunroof so someone yelled, "Just push your head through! Yeah, at an angle!" at which point I victoriously started yelling what is basically my catch phrase.

Then when the guy reappeared with her change, Destiny rolled down the window to accept it. It was retarded but hilarious at the time. Then as we were driving away, Paul goes "Haha the funny thing is the guy just waved at me back here!" A minute later we realized that was because Destiny forgot her cheesy fries, and the guy came running out after us to give them to us. He probably went home and killed himself, I swear.

Anyway, my roommate wants to go eat lunch so I have to go. I apologize soo much if it sounded like I was rubbing anything in. In all honestly, what you're doing is better. It's the equivalent of jumping in a freezing cold pool instead of inching your way in the way I'm doing. Sure, I love hanging with all our old friends because it's comfortable but it's only going to make it harder for me to make new friends once everyone else already knows each other. Your way is much faster even if it is painful. Sorry too if this was confusing or way too long; I don't have time to proofread right now so I'll edit later. Miss you and keep me updated!!!!! I want to know what is going on. Do you have wireless? Also, get texting! Or should I say, "textual communication" ;)

College Killed My Self- Esteem

By: Monica

What I wrote in the heat of fury last night. It gets better (in both the negative and positive sense of the word.) I'll let you know later tonight.
---
I’m not going to lie to you. College sucks balls. I know, I know, it’s only my first day, but I’m allowed to make preemptive assumptions, right? This is how sad and pathetic it is: the best part is being alone in my dorm because my roommate moves in tomorrow. I wish I had the room to myself every night because it is my favorite part of today. Like I said before, the rest sucks balls. Why, you ask? Here’s a list.

8AM - I woke up to finish packing my plethora of college material (books and a pencil sharpener). Then I called the scholarship office which informed me that I am officially financially registered (Yay me!). (Good part of the day).

12PM- As expected of my family, we embarked on the journey one hour late. My mother did not allow me to turn my iPod on, so that we could talk. This counted as my mother telling me, “You will like it” and, “Be smart and make money” in as many different ways as could possibly fit in that two hour car ride. I had to teach my mother how to work a GPS the day we had to make a two hour journey to a place we have only been twice before (with Map Quest directions which we lacked this time) and she kept insisting the machine was lying to us.

GPS: “Exit 56 coming up. Stay on the current road. Do not take exit.”

Mother *passes Exit 56*: Weren’t we supposed to turn there? Last time we turned there. I’m sure we were supposed to turn there. We did it last time and it was right. Jesus, we just missed an exit! How the hell am I supposed to turn around on a highway! I don’t even know my way around Miami! I DON’T KNOW WHERE WE ARE!”

Me: “Mom, the GPS said not to take the exit. We’re fine. Just do what it says”.
Side note: I know my Mother all too well to expect her to follow commands. I don’t know what I was thinking.

GPS: “Stay to the right. Take Exit 58.”

Mother: “Exit 58?! I’ve never been down Exit 58! Where is this thing taking us?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE EXIT 56!”

Needless to say, she grumbled the entire way there and we arrived in Miami in record time.

3PM- My mother yelled at a student holding the elevator for a large cart because she was in the way. I pretended not to know her.

5PM- Five trips under the sweaty Sun later, my dorm is put together. It looks like I’m staying here temporarily.

6PM- I am cordially invited to dinner by the girls on my floor. My parents leave. I realize I never received my meal plan card and now have to run back up to my room, and pay $9.50 for a small bowl of hardened pasta. By the time I join the other girls at the table, they are all done eating but insist to wait for me and so I am awkwardly eating while nine other girls watch me.

The conversation went something like this:

*Silence*

Girl #1: So, since you just got back, we discussed our majors. What are you majoring in?”

Me: “Um, Music Business. Most people don’t know what it is. I even hardly know what it is. Pretty much, though, it’s a mix of business in the music world. You know, record labels, artists, iTunes… *this is where I make a fool of myself by ranting*”

Girls stare at me, blankly.

*Silence*

Me: So… what about you guys?”

Each girl goes around and states their major.

Me: “Oh, that’s cool.”

*Silence*

Girl #5: “Anyone minoring in a language?”

All nine girls shake their heads.

*Silence*

And that, my dear readers, is college speed friend-ing. As Kelly knows, I cannot stand fake people, personalities, or façades. Now, take every single girl from this school, stick them in Jamaica, and you’ve got the largest population of heated fakers in the world. If I hear another, “Ohmygosh, HI!” I will stab that unlucky female in the eye with my newly sharpened college pencils.

ANYWAY, after dinner, the girls went back to a room to play UNO. I called my parents because I would rather hang out with them than these people. I know, it’s that bad. Turns out, my parents were still on campus at Szbarro’s. I went to join them. Everything is fine for the first ten minutes or so. Then my mother brings up the, “You will like it, just be smart and make money” speech again and, suddenly, the girls didn’t seem so bad.

8PM- My parents left. Really, this time. They left me to walk back from the parking lot to my dorm tower by myself. A fifteen minute walk, may I add. All by myself.

8:30PM- I’m invited, yet a second time, to a game of UNO. I politely decline.

8:45PM- I find out I completely missed the Orientation Check-In today. Now I have to go tomorrow at 8 AM. Great.

9PM- I walk 23 minutes to the closest Internet connection because my withdrawal is unbearable and I’m just bored. I check my Facebook and my E-mail. No one has written me. I feel unimportant. I’m just about to vent to Kelly via E-mail when a girl sits next to me and suddenly I feel self- conscious. I always have that fear that someone is looking over my shoulder, reading everything I’m writing, even if they couldn’t give less of a damn about me complaining to a friend about the less-than-decent-and-unnecessarily-expensive cafeteria food. I leave and go back to my dorm.

9:52PM- I have noticed there is a lot of eye candy here. Like, a lot. I am overwhelmed. And, if that cannot make my day better, you know it sucks.

10PM- I am currently writing this post in a Word Document to be copied and pasted tomorrow. I’m also currently lying atop a hard mattress in a 60 degree prison cell of a room, wearing a sweater and sweat pants in the middle of the Summer while it’s 100 degrees outside. I hear people laughing, bonding, and being happy. Meanwhile, I am trying to enjoy every bit of privacy I have before tomorrow when my roommate moves in. I prefer being alone. Oh, how I shall miss this.

Why does College kill my self-esteem? Because, before this, I thought I could do anything I put my mind to. I believed everyone who ever told me that and, clearly, they were mistaken. I am not cut out for this. This is not who I am.

In conclusion: College sucks balls. If this description changes, I’ll let you know.

"Kelly" is to "crazy college kid" as a "mocktail" is to "vodka"

By: Kelly

Well well well. Guess what? I am in COLLEGE, sitting on my bed in my dorm (except we aren’t allowed to call them that because dorm is a yucky word. They are Residence Halls, God help me if I forget again. Whatever.)

So before I entertain you with my ridiculous college stories of passing out on sticky floors from kidney failure, I’ll respond to Monica’s post which was beyond sub-par. I love that we are now going to have a way to keep in touch whilst letting our creative juices…juice (I have no idea if "whilst" was allowed to be used in that sentence, but damn it I’m being creative!). And I already miss Best Buy and Alburrito and of course you and everything else.

But you know how we felt when we graduated from high school? As if we were already “above” it and had moved on from it like a million years ago, as we watched all of those high school movies with complete disdain? Yeah, well the second you get to college, you feel the same way about your home town. And I’m in Gainesville, where there is going to be a Qu’ran burning on September 11th (which me and my friends are protesting) so the passionate hate I harbor towards my hometown is apparently a lot stronger than I thought. I’m sure you’ll lord Miami over my head, and rightly so, since I just heard on the radio that Miami outranked Florida in some list of colleges. So, good for you….But we’re supposed to be talking about your blog! Well You know I hate the word “interesting” when it comes from boys almost as much as I hate the word “nice”. So you have my sympathies for realz. And as for traditions, I’ll have to think of some when I have more time, but I propose the first be you reenacting the “Leave Britney Alone” video when you first meet your roommate. What do you think?

---pause---sorry, I was disrupted for a minute because I thought I heard my roommate coming back and we’re still in that newlywed roommate stage where when you think they’re coming, you rush to pick a sock off the floor, or whatever. But false alarm, she isn’t hear so I can blog in peace without being afraid my typing will annoy her (like I said, newlyweds).

Anyway, I’m going to post pictures of our residence halls on facebook first chance I get, but let me tell you, we have the most beautiful room you have ever seen. Seriously, this is not helping my misanthropic tendencies one bit, living in a palace (I kid but I do really like it. The best part being, it’s all MINE with no parents). So far college is 100% how I expected it to be, which isn’t a bad thing. Move-in was incredibly efficient and easy. My roommate is adorable and sounds like Amanda Bynes. We both brought Eiffel Tower posters and she’s a French major. She wants to make crepes on Saturday so I officially love her. We had dinner with her friend Hannah who is possibly even more adorable because she’s British which fascinates me to no end. And my friend Danielle and this random kid Mike from Michigan* or some state like that, who my roomie is apparently with right now. That’s all I will say on that subject. The food is good and all you can eat buffet so I’m pleased. I had my first awkward “LOOK I’M A FRESHMAN” moment when I tried to serve myself in the buffet line though (This is even funnier Monica, if you remember when I did this recently at that free continental breakfast. But this guy was much nicer about it). I mean good Lord, this is America the land of the free, we can serve ourselves. Sigh.

So then later, my residence hall was offering us “mocktails” (aka virgin cocktails) so I went with my roommate and awkwardly sipped on some punch for about fifteen minutes and tried painfully to introduce myself to people who felt just as awkward and desperate as I probably looked. Seriously, at least we’re all in the same boat together. But then I found these really cool girls who are also huge Harry Potter fans and we added each other on facebook and now I have a lunch date with them, so that's cool.

About that time, a couple girls from my school came in. I’ll call them Helga and Alison. Monica, Helga is the girl who bragged about saying happy birthday to a mutual friend recently and Alison is actually the sister of the real Alison we know. Anyway, Helga acted really happy to see me and we talked for a bit before spontaneously deciding to get in her car with Alison and three very nerdy boys (Alison’s choosing, not mine or Helga’s for that matter. Helga actually whispered conspiratorially to me that we would "find some hot guys asap" to which I ACTUALLY AGREED. College is changing me, I fear) to see a movie they were supposedly playing somewhere on campus. We failed to find the movie but we DID find another random group of guys who wanted to find something fun to do too. So I spent a majority of the night squished up against some random kids playing foozball and pool. And let me tell you, guys in college are every bit as douche-y as you would think. Every TWO seconds, a guy is giving you the once-over.

For example, some kid whom I’ll call Muhammad (his real name was a Muslim name) made everything I said sound like I was flirting with him. Example: I asked him which building he was staying in, and then when he told me, I asked him which floor. So he said “you’re already trying to get in my room?” with some stupid little grin. And I was like, “umm no, I have a friend there so I was wondering if you’d met him yet.” To which he said, “Oh I see, you’re getting around like that already.” Ugh. I mean, at first I was semi-impressed because he made a joke about being like a nuclear science major when he pretended his name was Ahmadinejad, which at least showed he has some political/current affair savvy. But I’ve quickly learned that while almost every guy at my high school was as dull as dirt and not all too bright, at least they were POLITE and not over the top most of the time. There are always trade-offs, and smarts is not all that matters. Anyway, a little while after that conversation I kind of “came to” so to speak, and was like, “woah what am I doing here? “ I had been having a lot of fun, but all of a sudden I just wanted to get away from those idiots and curl up in bed. I mean, I originally planned to avoid Alison like the plague and swore I'd never socialize with her. AND IT'S ONLY THE FIRST NIGHT. So I ditched them and they probably spent a good five minutes laughing about it, but I could not care less what those kids think of me, so whatever. That’s college so far! I’m pretty excited- there is always SO MUCH going on here; I can’t keep track of it all. Anyway, I have to go do a keg stand** I hope move-in runs smoothly for you Monica and can’t wait to hear all about it! xo

*Maryland
*by "keg stand" I mean shower and then go to bed

P.S. Rushing is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Girls get all dressed up and parade around parties hoping they'll be accepted to some sorority and if they accidentally "flirt" with a guy the upperclasswomen like, they don't get in. Every time a girl has told me she might/is rushing, I literally snort because I'm trying to hold back a laugh. It's like when someone tells me they're a Sarah Palin fan. I think they must be joking, and it isn't until the sound has come out of my mouth that I realize they are in fact serious.

I Vote Yay

By: Monica

As you can see by the title of this post, I am all for Kelly's idea. And since, at this very moment, Kelly is partaking in the five hour drive up to her University, I will take the initiative and write the first unrelated post.

So, Kelly, here it goes. I do not yet know what is considered blogworthy and so I will take a stab in the dark and hope that it is up to par.

First, I would like to say that, as Penny is Desmond's "constant"*, so I am yours :) Hope life in Gator Town is handy.**

Well, today was assigned as Buy-Anything-You-Forgot-For-College Day and, since you know me all too well, you know it morphed into Buy-Everything-For-College Day. This called for a trip to Best Buy, and you know who works at Best Buy, Kelly. That's right; Alburrito. And Alburrito made sure to point me out to all of his colleagues and attempt to sell me a cellular phone. The latter sadly failed but the former came back to haunt me. Not three hours later, Alburrito gives me a call and exlpains that his friend "Joe" (no, really, that's his name) thinks I am "interesting" and would like to "get to know me". Hmmmm, "interesting". I'm pretty sure that every single guy that has walked the face of this planet had uttered those specific words in that specific order, with the exception of the variation, "I would like to get to know you because I think you're interesting." But, what does it actually mean? (Rhetorical Question Alert). Okay, you find me intruiging or fun or classy or intelligent, or (enter positive adjective here)and/or attractive and so you want to spend more time with me to see if I'd feel the same about you. I get it. Your way feels more manlier and I understand.
Anyhoo, Alburrito proceeded to inform me that the kid (Yes, even if he is 23, a guy that uses such bland and childish vocabulary is referred to as a "kid") would like my phone number and/or Facebook. This was after Alburrito had informed him that I was leaving for college tomorrow. Great timing, no?
This prompted the phone call from our dear Alburrito. Was it okay with me for this kid to get my information? Maybe. Then I asked a question that completely threw him off. It went something like, "I dunno. Do you think I should let you give it to him?" (No "in his pants" joke needed). Alburrito stumbled over words, paused, and said, "Um... I think he's a nice kid." Wrong answer. People do not pause when talking about people they like. No, they pause when they watch what they say. And watching what you say is not acceptable in this situation. And yet I caved and allowed the Facebook communication. From prior experience, this is not a good thing. Looks like I'm going to have to modify my "offline" list.

As for the last blog entry, I would like to make a proposal myself. I think we should start some traditions on this blog as bloggers before us have successfully done on theirs. Si? I would also like to mention that, upon you leaving, I reinacted the second video from your last post. Except this time it was called, "Why is Kelly leaving me?!"

* LOST reference.

**Reference to a recent event in our town where a schoolmate got his hand bitten off by an alligator while swimming by Alligator Alley at nine o'clock at night. Smart, right? I know. He almost died of blood loss and we crack hand jokes to this day.

A Proposal (not of the marriage variety) and A Video Critique

By: Kelly

I could never top Monica in her last "tribute" post, so I won't bother except to say that I am terrified of going to college without her and am SO HAPPY we have facebook, email, AIM, and of course, this blog. I was thinking about it today, and I actually propose that we branch out with it because sometimes you feel a little less like this* and a little more like this.

When you're depressed or worried or annoyed, it's hard to give advice or write in an entertaining/comical manner. But sometimes you want to write anyway, just about what you're going through because it's a form of cathargy (This is a word Monica invented accidentally that is a combination of catharsis and lethargy that I am now doing my best to use at every opportunity because it is awesome). Anyway, since Monica and I are going to be five hours away from each other and probably won't see one another in person until Thanksgiving, I know we're going to be communicating A LOT online. Even now when we can see each other whenever we want, we generally exchange at least 10 messages a day minimum. So rather than type all of our entire stories or rants on facebook or email, I propose we write some of them on here as well. I haven't run this by her yet, so we'll see what she thinks. We can still offer insight on relationships when we feel like it, but it'll allow us to talk about whatever we want to. Plus it's not like anyone reads this anyway, so it's really no different than using facebook or whatever when it comes to privacy. We can be like the blogfriends (really bad knock off of the vlogbrothers). So Monica, yay or nay?

*I was going to go ahead and write a post about my feelings about college and growing up, but after seeing this "Secret Flirting Tips" video I have no choice but to list all of the things going through my head upon viewing.

0:09: My finger was hovering over the track pad about to click on another video. I was trying to find one of some cheesy, peppy lady giving relationship advice but once I saw the horrible graphics/music of this one, 3:42 was beginning to feel like 3 hours and 42 minutes.
0:10: "OH CRAP she looks like a combination of Meg Cabot (I'm sorry Meg Cabot), my freshman Spanish teacher if she went on weight watchers and lost 80 pounds, and my ancient English teacher from junior year. Also, is that a DOG?
0:35: Really? This is what doctors do? Remind me to NEVER major in psychology.
0:50: "Love in 90 Days? That's the title? Why would you ever use a time bracket for something as slippery and unpredictable as love? BS.
1:16: GOOD LORD this is getting awkward. Who DOES that? You can massage your bf/gf or your husband/wife but that isn't FLIRTING. If you barely know the person, it's more like molestation.
1:36: Oxytocin, eh? Big word. now I believe you are a doctor....
2:02: What are you laughing at, your horrible advice?
2:22: At this point I glanced at how many views the video had. OVER 200,000. WTF.
2:39: Anyone who uses this technique deserves to be drop kicked in the face.
3:05: ALL THIS LADY IS DOING IS TREATING HER DOG LIKE A DOG. MADSTER? WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH FLIRTING? *calms self* Moving on.
3:07: See, the dog yawned. She was probably widening her mouth to see if it were conceivable to fit this lady's entire head in her mouth to get her to shut up.
3:30: "I know it's scary and I know it's hard" That's what he said.
3:33: "But you can try it out and see what happens" ...that's what he said cont'd.
3:37: "And you will be very very pleasantly surprised." Wow. It's like she knows my perverted mind.

Follow this advice, and maybe you'll end up like her! Making videos...with your pet...

Favorite comment:
"this is the most obvious advice ever.

your first tip is a massage?

girls, you want guys to notice you?

get your fat ass to the gym."

A Tribute

By: Monica

As you all know, Kelly and I began this blog as two seniors, in hopes that we could reach out to those who wanted a bit of advice on relationships and everything else covered in the Love Department. And, I must say, this has been a great year. Now we are going off to college and I would like to say that, I know one thing from experience. A good friend is a good thing to have. I would also like to thank Kelly for being that good friend to me because it has helped me in more ways than imaginable. She is my translator when no one else understands, always has an ear to lend when I won't shut up, and never fails to encourage me when I have an idea. It is because of her that my posts exist. Kelly, my most memorable moments were all shared with you and I could not think of someone I would want to share them with more. You know how I like to stick my nose in people's love lives and, I am just warning you in advance, I will be there to stick my nose in yours every step of the way. Save me a seat at your wedding.

"Are we not like two volumes of one book?" ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." ~Flavia Weedn

"A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." ~Lois Wyse

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." ~Elisabeth Foley

"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." ~Dave Tyson Gentry

"There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one's self, the very meaning of one's soul." ~Edith Wharton

"In my friend, I find a second self." ~Isabel Norton

Intelligence in a Sentence

By: Monica

I was having an interesting evening tonight, caked with mounds of drama and a heap of sloppy cover-ups. Sometimes I feel that the behaviors and workings that Kelly and I notice are only a burden to us. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. But tonight, just as I was moping in my own puddle of self pity, I stumbled upon this quote. And, I must say, it is quotes such as this one that reinvigorate my zest for what we do in Life. I thought I would share it with all of you and hope that it inspires you as it inspired me.

"Ideas pull the trigger, but Instict loads the gun." - Don Marquis

sorry guys...

By: Kelly

Via a TIME online article:

"According to a new study, men are more -- that's right, MORE -- affected by romance-related drama than women.
Women: for every romantic comedy, Chris Rock performance, and season of The Bachelor that's given you a bad relationship rap, celebrate alongside me our redemption! A sociology professor at Wake Forest University surveyed over 1,000 unmarried young adults between the ages of 18 and 23. After parsing the data, Robin Simon concluded men are far more likely to be emotionally affected than women of the same age by relationship turmoil.
Why? Simon provides, “for young men, their romantic partners are often their primary source of intimacy, whereas young women are more likely to have close relationships with family and friends.”

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/08/05/drama-kings-men-take-breakups-harder/#ixzz0vkAC3lrd"

I love how pointless all these "studies" are. I called that without research. Women have a whole support system built in to take care of them when a guy breaks up with them, while guys have to suffer it alone and not talk about their feelings. Women actually visibly go through the grieving process because it's socially acceptable, which allows them to move on faster.

Or maybe not:
"The study also concluded that while men are more emotionally affected by the quality of their relationship, women are more emotionally affected by whether or not they are in a relationship."

There very well may be no hope for any of us.