He's Just Not That Into You

Posted By: Monica

I apologize in advance for the length of this post. Most of it is dialogue though, so it shouldn't be that hard to get through.

A couple of nights ago I sat down to write today’s post while the television created aimless noise in the background. The title of the movie caught my attention as the words appeared on the screen: He’s Just Not That Into You. Immediately I was intrigued. The title sounded like something pulled right out of my ramblings, so I tuned in to see what this film was about. Needless to say that by the end I had deleted all my previous work on the post and was furiously typing away with a cheeky grin spread across my face. This is why:

(Warning: If you have not seen the movie, watch it now or this post will not make sense.)

Alex and Gigi. Two people cannot possibly have more opposite personas.

Side Note: Kelly and I were ecstatic that we had finally found a perfect example of a Category One.

Alex is a man who knows how to work the ladies. His knowledge allows him to move from female to female without truly getting attached because his match has not walked into his life as of yet. He willingly shares his advice with others in hopes of saving them from becoming love sick fools. Gigi, on the other hand, is the epitome of a love sick fool. She dates around in order to find her perfect match. However, she finds that men run from her, or avoid commitment, but she does not understand why. How is it possible that such butting personalities become perfect for each other? Well, I for one am a firm believer in the theory that opposites attract. This is one of those ideal cases. But this discussion is for another entry. Right now, I want to tend to Alex and his beautifully quotable phrases.

I see a bit of Alex in myself. The way he dissected the behavior of the “Tom Cruise” at the bar and the interaction between the female who would not give the light of day to the man who, in turn, gave her everything. Alex is the guy who just doesn’t do relationships. He’s too good for them. He can anticipate every move the female makes and, in turn, becomes bored as each relationship becomes monotonous. In accordance, I feel that he and I would see eye to eye. Perhaps that is the very reason each word he spoke held such truth to me. Let’s have some examples:

*Gigi went to a bar where she expected to see Conor, a guy she had a date with a week prior to going to the bar but instead, she gets some advice from his friend, Alex*
Alex: Look. You seem like a good girl so I'm just going to be honest with you. Conor is never going to call you.
Gigi: Oh really? How do you know?
Alex: Because I'm a guy. And it's just how we do it.
Gigi: But he said it was nice meeting me.
Alex: Ha- I don't care if he said you're his favorite female since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham. Over a week went by. Okay, Gigi? And he didn't call you.
Gigi: But maybe he did call, and I? didn't get the message. or maybe he lost my number, or is out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died?
Alex: Or maybe, he just didn't call because he has no interest in seeing you again.
Gigi: Yeah... but my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never called. And she totally wrote him off. Over a year goes by--
Alex: Right.
Gigi: --and she ran into him, and it ended up that they--
Alex: Your friend Terri's an idiot. And she's also the exception. By the way. The rare exception.
Gigi: Okay. Okay. But what if I'm the exception?
Alex: No, you're not. You're not at all. In fact, you're the rule. And the rule is this--if a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
Gigi: Really?
Alex: Yeah.
Gigi: Always?
Alex: Yeah, always. Look. I know what blowing off a woman looks like, okay? And trust me, I do it early and I do it often. So trust me when I say, if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, then he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.
*silence*
Gigi: Thank you. You've given me a lot to think about.

*The next day when Gigi is talking about her epiphany with her co-workers/girlfriends*
Gigi: All of my friends used to tell me these stories about how things might work out with these dipshits because they knew someone who knew someone who dated a dipshit just like mine and that girl ended up married and living happily ever after. But, that's the exception, and we're not the exception. We're the rule.

As you can see, Alex tells it like it is. In turn, females can learn how men truly think in these situations.
Here is another one of my favorites which also handily confirms my explanation of Clinginess:

*Phone conversation between Alex and Gigi where Gigi is asking Alex for advice about a guy named Gerald.*
Gigi: So we meet at happy hour, and he is completely charming.
Alex: Let me guess, he said, "the only thing happy about this hour is you."
Gigi: He might have used some derivative of that. Uh. Um. So he said that he's going to call. But then he gives me his card, and he says--
Alex: Oh, he's not interested.
Gigi: You don't even know if he's called.
Alex: Well, did he?
Gigi: No! But, I honestly think that--
Alex: Okay. Gig. He-is-not-interested. If a guy gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, he's not interested.
Gigi: Oh, he took mine first. But then he gave--
Alex: And also, if a guy wants to see you, believe me, he WILL see you. Heh. I, I once called fifty-five Lauren Bells until I got the right one.
Gigi: That's cute. What happened?
Alex: Oh, as it turned out, her ass looked really huge in the daylight.
Gigi: Aha is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women?
Alex: Don't call him. He doesn't like you.
Gigi: Well, don't tip-toe around my feelings.
Alex: Ah, well, I'm just trying to help.
Gigi: I know. Thank you.

Moral of the story: If a guy is INTO you, he will make it happen. Though I must say there is ONE exception to this rule. The Extreme Category Three. But, unless the love of your life is the guy who sits in the corner analyzing black holes in space, you are the rule. Not the exception.

Next. Guys make up the lamest excuses to be with a girl for one night. As long as she doesn't call him on his bluff THAT night, he's good to go. That's why it's handy to have an Alex in any woman's life.

*Another phone conversation between Alex and Gigi where Gigi was making out with this guy and when she asked about the second date, he said he was leaving the next day and would be out of touch. SO she decides to run into the guy's bathroom and call Alex to ask him about it*
Gigi: Okay, I'm making out with this guy--uh PG stuff--and he mentioned that he's going out of town so he's going to be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: But maybe he IS going out of town.
Alex: To where, New Guinea? Where's he going that he's going to be out of touch?

*Gigi opens the door and asks him where he's going out of town when he answered a little hesitantly*
Gigi: Pittsburgh.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: So what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex: Uh, yeah.
Gigi: Well, I mean, I'm in his bathroom right now. So what should I do?
Alex: Well, you've gotta get out eventually but, uh, I'd take my time in there. I'd let him sweat.

Finally, the last crucial scene (pertaining to Alex's helpful hints).

*Talking about a girl and two guys a few feet away from them at the bar when the hotter guy walks away*
Alex: Now, check out droopy dog on the other side. This guy's going to be buying her drinks all night and she's going to insist that there's no "spark".
Gigi: Maybe there's not. You need a spark.
Alex: No, the "spark" thing is shit.
Gigi: Really?
Alex: Bull shit.
Gigi: Enlighten me.
Alex: Guys invented the "spark" so that they could not call, and treat you kind of bad, and keep you guessing, and they convince you that that anxiety and that fear that they're throwing at you is actually, just a "spark". And you guys all buy it. You eat it up. And you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama.
Gigi: I don't.
Alex: Oh really? So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or phone bill because secretly you kind of love the drama of not knowing whether or not you're going to make it?
Gigi: May...be?
Alex: And let me guess. When you were stalking Conor the other night, were you obsessing about him calling, constantly pacing back and forth and staring at your phone for days even though the date was just kind of mediocre?
Gigi: Ha. Okay, yeah?
Alex: Because you all thrive on the drama! But you've got to be more like me. If a girl likes me, great. But if not, there are plenty more out there like her. Probably one with smaller pores and bigger implants.

So Ladies, if you walk away with anything from this post let it be these wise words from Alex: "If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will." and "Men don’t forget how much they like you. So put down the phone."