It Takes Two

By: Kelly

Now there are many different types of couples out there- many more categories than there are for men or women as separate genders. Each relationship is unique, but each fits in at least one category and probably several. Here is a list of some of them with examples either from people I know or from movies:

“The Best Friends” An example of this couple is my friend Ciara and her boyfriend Jacob. He will always be her best friend first and her boyfriend second. They love to do silly childish things together: play-wrestle, call each other names, bake, etc. just like best friends might do. Another good example of this type is Lorelai and Luke from Gilmore Girls. In one episode, despite the fact that they’ve broken up and are mad at each other, Lorelai goes to Luke in desperation because he is the one she always went to when she had a broken heart. Like the best friend he was, he comforted her no matter what happened between them.

“The Private Couple” This is the couple that seems reserved in public- the opposite of The Lovebirds. The fact that they don’t display their affections publicly however, does not mean that they are any less in love. Quite the opposite. If anything, they consider their love too intimate and special to be displayed just anywhere. They don’t need to always be touching one another to have a strong connection. In fact, this is the type of couple who can just look into one another’s eyes and feel the heat just as much as other couples would feel by kissing. The best example I have for this one is (don’t shoot me) Alice and Jasper from Twilight. There is a scene in one of the books where the Cullens are reunited. The different couples greet each other in similar ways- by embracing. Alice and Jasper stand out however, because they simply look at each other. It is an intense scene and one gets the impression that they have the most interesting relationship out of all the couples in the books.

“The Lovebirds” This is the passionate couple every high school student has had the misfortune to have a locker next to (think Josh and Lana in The Princess Diaries). They are so wrapped up in each other that they are oblivious to everyone else around them and continue to suck face much to everyone else’s chagrin. Basically, a PDA alert should follow them wherever they go.

“The Newlyweds” This is the couple who is in that initial lovey-dovey stage where their partner is all they seem to care about. They isolate themselves unintentionally by being completely wrapped up in each other. They idolize one another and are, quite frankly, revolting to outsiders. They call each other pet names, talk in baby voices, and refuse to even imagine that their partner could ever be wrong. They are the couple who has the phone conversations “No, you hang up first”. An example of this category would be Ron and Lavender in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Newlyweds and Lovebirds are two categories that almost always overlap.


“The Classic Couple” This is a couple that is very difficult to describe because the only distinguishing feature is that they seem to be made for each other. This is the ideal relationship where they can ask “Where have you been all my life?” without sounding cheesy. Their relationship just seems to have a flow and rhythm to it and they make love look completely effortless. They bring out the best in each other and compensate for each other’s weaknesses. Many couples fall into this category, particularly couples that end up getting married.

“The Fighters” This is the couple that loves to fight simply to fight. They scream at one another and pick each other apart, but it seems to add excitement to the relationship because it ends up bringing them closer together in the end every time. Think of the make-up sex jokes associated with this couple and it starts to make some sense. This is the couple where, after a heated fight, the negative energy just seems to completely dissipate and they can go to one another without a single word and know that the other is sorry. The best example is Holly and Gerry in P.S. I Love You.

“The Competitors” This is a very difficult category to explain and could be easily confused with “The Fighters” although they are completely different types of couples. A couple falls into this category if both partners are naturally “competitors” when it comes to romance. So, the male is going to be in Category 1 or a high Category 2 and the woman is going to be the equivalent of that. (Women can only be Category 1 or 3 because women don’t put on fronts about “having game” the way Category 2 males do. They don’t fake expertise when it comes to relationship issues- either they have it or they don’t.) This is any couple who finds the chase more exciting than the kill. In order to keep their relationship interesting, they are constantly exercising a battle of wits and take turns “fighting” for power. The terms used for this category are bound to sound warped and insane to any outsiders, but for insiders, it makes total sense. An example of this couple, in my opinion anyway, would be Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice or possibly the Date Doctor and Eva Mendez’s character in Hitch.

“The Star-crossed Lovers” This is the couple that seems to have all odds stacked against them and doesn’t seem to be meant to be, yet they keep getting drawn back together. They break up and get back together constantly and their best friends learn to just roll their eyes and ignore the drama. These couples may take years to get it together but sometimes it does happen. The best example I have for this category is one of my English teachers and her husband. They were high school sweethearts but had some problems and continually broke up over the course of ten years. She never would have dreamed he was “the one” but in the end, their relationship stood the test of time and now they are happily married with their first child.

“The Old Married Couple” This one needs little explanation. This is the couple who either is old and married or just acts like it. They know each other well enough to anticipate the other’s every move and bicker with each other on a daily basis. Yet they love each other dearly and always become those cute old couples in the rocking chairs at Cracker Barrel that everyone “awws” about.

“The Unequal Couple” Barring the moral implications of the name, this is a couple where one person is “better” than the other who is “undeserving”. This can come in many different forms- one partner can be far superior physically, as far as wealth goes, intellectually, or as far as maturity levels go. For whatever reason, one partner has the upper hand and would normally not consider dating said partner. This is not a good pairing because it always leaves one person feeling inadequate and insecure about the relationship. My example for this one is more obscure, but it comes from the book An Abundance of Katherines which is about a nerdy boy who is constantly dumped by girls named Katherine, essentially because they aren’t “on his level”. However, this couple is not the same as the pretty cheerleader who falls for the math geek- because in some cases, these relationships are equal. What one lacks in appearance, they might make up for in wit. As long as the relationship is balanced and each person’s strengths and weaknesses are roughly equal, this relationship is not “unequal”.

“The Blind Couple” This is the couple that isn’t actually together yet but everyone knows they should be and eventually will be. It is so completely obvious to the rest of the world but they are blind to the possibilities so they continue to be friends, coworkers, etc. This is used all the time in television shows and a good example is Jim and Pam from The Office.

“The Abusive Couple” This is obviously not a good couple. This can either be physically abusive or mentally. Either way, it is essentially the opposite of The Classic Couple in that they bring out the worst in each other and tear each other down instead of building each other up. Rather than compensate for each other’s weaknesses, they exploit them.