John Green and Science is Sexy

Posted By: Kelly

In an earlier blog, Monica alluded to the fact that the two most commonly made mistakes in relationships are being overly clingy and trying too hard. Normally, I associate these mistakes more with girls but it can work for either gender. John Green explains them both in about a minute in this video. You should definitely check it out from about 1:24 to 2:40:



That clip is made of pure win.

On a completely different note, I’ve always viewed romance as more of a science than an art form. I know this exposes me as someone who is clearly not a romantic, in the typical sense of the word at least. I understand that calling romance a science somewhat defies the very definition of romance, because people don’t normally correlate say, biology to sexiness. But it’s true in the sense that masters of relationships become experts through observation, noticing and analyzing patterns, experimentation, etc. The following is a short list of things I think every healthy relationship is built upon, in the form of horrible science metaphors. Bear in mind that I never learned a single thing in chemistry so these have no validity whatsoever. Enjoy.

1.“The spark” or if we really want to use a science metaphor, energy. Some people are critics of “the spark” and say that it doesn’t exist and isn’t necessary for a good relationship. However, I think it’s absolutely vital. It’s what draws you in to another person, and makes you focus on them above anyone else. This is the first step in any relationship, what creates the intrigue. Even after old friends become lovers, they make this transition because of a new spark that they didn’t see or have before.

To further divide this, there are two types of romantic energy- potential and kinetic. If someone sees potential energy in a prospective partner, it means they can see many positive signs that indicate that that person might be good for them. Said person might possess a good amount of “turn ons” or they might have interests, mindsets, or a background that you find intriguing.

The problem with potential energy however, is that it doesn’t always evolve into kinetic energy the way it is supposed to. This is the example of the couple that just can’t seem to make it work- they have too many differences that divide them that one or both aren’t willing/are unable to reconcile to make the relationship work. Both people see the way things could be, and sometimes are, but at the end of the day both are dissatisfied because they are essentially searching for an ideal that just cannot be found in each other. Or, one partner is not willing to step up to the plate and truly commit to the relationship. A relationship like that will never have anything more than potential energy.

In successful relationships, kinetic energy develops where the couple learns how to exercise healthy give-and-take in a symbiotic relationship that is in perfect harmony- or at equilibrium.

2. The second thing necessary for a healthy relationship is the one everyone always quotes- trust. To go along with my ridiculous science metaphor, we’ll say that trust is like a covalent bond that holds molecules together. Or do those hold atoms together? Whatever. The point is, once a relationship begins, trust quickly becomes absolutely essential and is the glue that holds people together.

There's more to my list but this post is long enough for one day :)

Part three of this blog is a quote someone posted on facebook that I liked that also pertains to this blog:

Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal! Under the arm to be protected, & next to the heart to be loved.