10 Tips for Guys

By: Kelly

Alright so now it is time for me to give some advice to the guys out there. Some of these tips were hard for me to write because many of them seem counterintuitive to many women. We THINK we like a lot of these things, but when we actually experience them in real life, the outcome is very different. So here are some things that, while they may be commonly used ways to "get a girl", are still very flawed. This could almost be seen as a how-to list for a guy who wants to be in Category 1, because no Category 1 guy would do any of the following things (with the possible exception of #8). However, I don't think anyone can really "become" a Category 1, you just are one. Regardless, if you want to up your game (by which I do not mean get with more chicks, but rather have a more nuanced understanding of The Game), read on.

1.Don’t stare. Eye contact is very important and is definitely an effective way to show your interest in a girl, but it has to be used wisely. It’s a powerful tool but it loses any effectiveness when it is over-used. Sure, it can be flattering to know a guy is looking at you but it can also make us really uncomfortable. If we aren’t interested in you, it can actually be really annoying and I know it’s harsh, but even a little creepy. The only exception is if you’re drop dead gorgeous. Just kidding (well kind of). Otherwise, it just comes off as stalker-ish. So play it cool, don’t look at us too much. It makes us interested when a guy seems to be ignoring us. Actually, it drives us kind of crazy. And then when you finally DO look at us, it is 100 times more satisfying than being looked at by the guys who stare all the time.

2.Don’t rely on the internet. Especially when you’re first getting to know the girl. It might seem a lot easier to do it when you have some time to think about what you’re going to say and less intimidating to risk getting rejected by a screen then a pretty girl but it messes things up in the long run. Think about it, what if that girl ends up being “the one”? Maybe guys don’t think about “the one” as much as girls do, but still, what if she is? Do you really want to have to say you first got to know her through something as lame as AIM? Talk to her in person. Otherwise you look kind of cowardly and it might make it awkward when you finally do see her in person. She’ll have a much stronger emotional connection with you if you strike up a conversation in real life and not through a text message.

3.Do not pretend to be interested in the things we like just to impress us- we can usually tell when you’re just trying to placate us. Obviously the football player isn’t all of a sudden interested in Japanese anime. It might seem like an easy “in” with a girl, but it can backfire later when she gets to know you better. Tell us you think it’s cool that we’re interested in the things we like but admit you don’t know anything about it. We’ll respect you so much more for it.

4.Do not call us pet names like baby, hun, sweetheart, or gorgeous unless it is done in the context of mindless flirting or joking. It positively screams player which is not a good thing to us. It shows us you’re used to sweet-talking women and means you’re underestimating our intelligence. Sure, if you like her, you can compliment her and tell her she’s beautiful but you better make sure to do it in a creative/funny/genuine way that won’t come across as something that’s going to be followed up with a “so my place or yours?”. Even if that’s what you’re thinking, don’t let on. Don’t tell us we look “good”. It makes us feel like a piece of meat or makes us think you aren’t smart enough to come up with a better adjective.

5.For the love of all that is holy- please, please, please do not wear Axe. All those years since you hit puberty, the commercials lied to you. Women do not throw themselves at you when you smell like B.O. or a middle school locker room (trust me, no girl wants to relive this memory). Do yourself a favor and buy something a little less over the top and a little manlier.

6.Don’t lie to us. We will find out and then the trust is gone and can almost never be earned back. This is THE worst thing you can ever do to a girl.

7.Don’t brag about your social life or immediately start sniggering away like an idiot with your friends as soon as you see us. It’s so obvious that you’re trying to look like you’re the life of the party or always busy. And if you have to make it look like you are, that implies you clearly aren’t.

8.Don’t tell us we’re wrong. Remember a bunch of posts back when I accused men of always needing their egos stroked? Well I might have forgotten to mention that women are the same way in different words. Men need to feel strong, competent, and in control. Women need to feel loved, intelligent, and beautiful. We ALWAYS think we’re right. Okay, maybe we need to feel in control too. So just go along with it even if we’re way off base. Unless you’ve got a really good comeback of course; those should never go to waste.

9.I really shouldn’t even have to say this but I still see it ALL the time. Don’t use really immature ways to tell a girl you like her. Don’t ever do it through a friend and don’t tell her about “this girl you just can’t seem to stop thinking about” and then think you’re revealing this big romantic secret when she realizes it’s her. If she doesn’t ask you who it is, you know you’re screwed because she’s already figured it out and is postponing the inevitable because she’s less than thrilled. Even if she does ask, there is still a high possibility she’s just trying to get it over with quick, like ripping off a band aid. Sorry, but that is just never a good way to tell a girl you like her.

10.Don’t be all up in her grill, yo. I don’t care who you are or how much you like her- give her time to miss you. If you call, text, or visit her all the time she’ll lose interest really fast and perceive you as “easy”. You’re probably thinking, “Wait- I thought men were the hunters.” Yes, they are, but so are women to an extent, especially the really good ones *Sleazy wink* It’s just that paradox of The Game that you have to play it cool and not let on how infatuated you really are because it drives women away. We aren’t nice when you give us power so if you hand over the reins, we will try to break you. I wish we knew better but we just don’t. So give shawty some space. (I have never spoken in this gangster slang in my life, btw. I’m using it partly for comedic effect, and partly because I’ve been listening to Drake. Regardless, that is clearly a sign that this post is getting way too long. Sayonara. Or should I say, peace up, A town down. The kids still say that, right?)