10 Tips for Women

By: Kelly

This is a list of things I sincerely wish women would stop doing- for the sake of my sanity, their respectability, and men's happiness. This list of "don'ts" is not universal and some of the things I warn against do work on men- but only on the stupid ones, in my humble opinion. If a guy is interested in you as a result of any of the following things, fine, go for it if you really want to. But there are many women out there who isolate themselves because of some of these actions. There are many pretty girls out there who are always sought after by the guys but that have no real girl friends. They think it's because all the girls they know are jealous of them, but it goes deeper than that. So if a) you are tired of always ending up with the wrong types of guys, b) are lacking any female friends or c) can't seem to make a relationship last, look at this list and see if you do any of these things. If so, you might have found the root of the problem.

1.Stop the giggling. It is beyond annoying. It doesn’t make you look cutesy or happy, it makes you look high/ditzy/flighty. You can laugh at a guy’s jokes if they’re truly funny but you start to sound like a drunken chipmunk when the laughter turns to giggling.

2.Keep your hands to yourself. I actually think it’s okay for a guy to touch a girl when he’s talking to her- with certain limits of course and only under very specific circumstances. He can brush his knee against hers, or touch her back or arm. But girls should never do this in a public place (where people you know are around) with guys that aren’t their boyfriends already. The simplest gestures will make you look like you have a flashing neon sign over your head declaring that you are open for business. Sure, the guy might like it but the smart guys will see it as a warning sign that you are a loose cannon and not one to be trusted around other guys. And the other girls in the room will immediately lose respect for you. Not out of jealousy, even. I’ve seen it happen with guys that disgust me and it still makes me look down on a girl. So respect yourself enough to have some restraint.

3.Don’t use the whiny voice and play the “victim”. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Everyone has either been guilty of or a witness to one of the following lines: “Sstttooppp *giggle* you are sooo annoying” or “Why do you have to be like that?” or “Omg, why are you always so mean to mee?” Even the most intelligent girls sometimes melt like a candle when the right guy applies the heat. But it’s not attractive at all and puts them off in an instant as soon as you start talking like a 3 year old.

4.If you want a guy to respect you, stop dressing like a whore. It’s like one of my favorite comedians Dave Chappelle once explained- that is so confusing for guys. It would be like seeing someone dressed up as a policeman on the street and running up to him to ask for help and getting a cold, “I’m not a policeman so I can’t help you.” Essentially, it’s a costume. This goes back to something I said a long time ago- the message you think you’re sending with your clothes (I look pretty) translates to “I’m a slut”. It brands you as a throw-away. Again, respect yourself more than that. Remember, it is ALWAYS better to leave a little to the imagination.

5.Stop blaming yourself and over-analyzing. This is a hard one because I’m guilty of it. But it’s so true what Steve Harvey, author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man says. Sometimes it really isn’t about you, the woman. Sometimes the guy has too much going on in his own life and can’t handle a relationship. So many times women tear themselves up trying to figure out what they did wrong when it wasn’t their fault at all and blow the situation out of context. So try to sit back and relax and move on once it’s all said and done. Stir up some healthy anger against the guy rather than yourself- it’ll help.

6.Don’t get ahead of yourself. Women are so fast to jump into a relationship and get carried away. The poor guy is thinking this is a casual relationship and you’ve already got your kids names picked out to match his last name. This will spook him. One of my friends made this mistake- she fell for a guy she barely knew and started getting all jealous every time he was with another girl. She even went as far to drive 30 minutes to hang out at the restaurant where he worked just to see him. Obviously, it didn’t work out between them. Don’t get too attached too quickly- go at a slow pace. The best things are worth savoring, and if he is “the one” you’ll be glad you took the time to find out without making assumptions.

7.Don’t be obvious. The hair twirling and the eyelid batting went out of style along with the poodle skirts back in the 50’s. Unfortunately, they were replaced with the myspace lip pout and matching peace sign fingers in cell phone mirror pictures. STOP IT. You do not want to look like a Miley Cyrus wannabe.

8.Don’t be a snob. While guys love to see confidence in a girl, they will never take a second look at you if they can see up your nose because you’re so busy holding it in the air. Guys like genuinely nice girls who are kind, compassionate, and just plain happy. They love to see you smile. And snobs are too good to smile in the company of their inferiors whereas happy girls don’t care who sees- in fact, they hope everyone does so that they can pass it on to someone else.

9.Don’t act stupid on purpose. This goes along with #1 and #3 but is so important that I’m clarifying it a third time- guys like smart girls, not bimbos. They aren’t going to be flattered by your compliments about “how much they know”. Chances are, they’d rather be learning from you.

10.Leave the drama for yo’ momma. Guys are not interested in girls who are complete emotional roller coasters. They don’t want to be the one you vent to, the one you take your anger out on, none of that. They don’t want to see you upset or angry. Tears kind of freak them out. Go to your gay friends or your girl friends for a good cry fest. Being a drama queen comes off as catty and high maintenance. Like Steve Harvey, has said, men are always thinking ahead just like women are (albeit sometimes subconsciously) and they picture what kind of home environment you would create. If you act like you’re bipolar, they’re going to think “Ugh- I’d be coming home to THAT? No thank you.” So pull it together ladies, otherwise your man is going to cancel his subscription. Because guess what? He doesn’t need your issues.