By: Kelly
So many girls today complain that men just aren’t willing to commit the way they used to. I would counter this by suggesting that it isn’t male attitudes that have changed, but the actions of women. Men have always been consistent in their sexual drives and incredible ability to cave in when tempted. However, it used to be that women were expected to remain pure until marriage or else they would lose all respectability. Nowadays, women have a lot more freedom in all aspects of life, including sexuality. However, ironically enough, when these expectations and these “restrictions” were lifted, women actually lost much of their power. This is because now, there is a greater pool of women that are willing to put out than before. Men used to have to be pretty desperate to go to prostitutes if they wanted to get laid but now they can do it for much cheaper through the concept of friends with benefits. Men are now able to “shop around” and categorize women among two categories- “fun for a fling” and “long-term material”. As a result, many women have felt an increased pressure to have sex because they don’t want their love interests to turn to more than willing women. What these women fail to realize is that they are only feeding the vicious circle by jumping on the bandwagon.
Chastity is a solution. Think about it: if women don’t respect their bodies, why should men? Refraining from sex serves as a natural filter. From the male’s point of view, it immediately puts you in the “serious potential” category for the good guys and the “prude” for the bad. If a guy’s number one goal is scoring with you right off the bat without taking the time to get to know you, you don’t want to be with him anyway and he won’t want to be with you. It keeps you out of damaging relationships because for a good 90% of women, there is no such thing as friends with benefits- women just aren’t genetically made to compartmentalize.
Many women argue, as I have before, that it is a cruel double standard to suggest that men can sleep around without losing respectability and women can’t. (which is why I hold men to the same standard that society sets for women- there is such thing as a man whore in my book) However, while I recognize that this is unfair I also recognize that it is necessary and not such a bad social standard. Think about the Rule of Three I mentioned in a previous post. Why is it that women downplay the number of men they’ve slept with? I would argue that it isn’t because society dictates it, but because oftentimes they are intrinsically ashamed- subconsciously deep down, they suspect they made a few mistakes. When women fight for the right to be sexually free, so many times they are fighting for something they don’t really want. Most women just want one man who will commit to them and love them, and the easiest way to find that is by holding out for the right guy. For the women out there who are anomalies to this rule and can have one night stands with no guilt or regret, more power to them- they should consider themselves lucky to be able to indulge in casual sex. However, I would argue that eventually as they age, they WILL want more and might find it difficult to break old habits and established reputations.
I’ve spoken before about the awesome power of a woman’s sex appeal. Men know they can’t control themselves and they fear this same lack of control in women. That is why they (the worthy ones anyway) have so much respect for women who don’t sleep around. Think about it- an object that is passed around by the hands of many loses much of its value, and thus its bargaining power. It’s the same with women. So really, when women complain about the way men objectify them, I would argue that they really objectify themselves. Every time a woman gives in to casual sex she is allowing herself to be used if she doesn’t get as much out of it as the man does (and a woman almost never does get as much out of casual sex as she would in a committed relationship).
Without the bait, you lose all leverage. If a man can’t take the challenge and goes for the easier fish in the sea, what kind of fisherman is he really? Respectable, valuable men love a challenge and will work for it. Men like that recognize that beauty fades and passion subsides, leaving nothing but each other’s flaws. Men such as that, look for women who will be faithful, respectful, and loving. The saying really is true that goes, “The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs.”
If you still aren’t sold, here are three concrete benefits of waiting to have sex:
1. She'll appreciate herself a lot more, and in turn the man will gain more respect for her and realize that he has a valuable treasure.
2. The man who had to work hard and commit in order to bed a woman will appreciate her more. After all, time was invested in her.
3. The sex will be brought to a whole new passionate level when she finally makes love to the man who fought for her -- by being patient.
How long should you wait? Obviously, until you are in a committed relationship and I truly believe that it should not be until you have graduated from high school and have moved out of your parents’ house. Other than that, it will vary from couple to couple. Many “experts” say that if a girl gives in within the first three months of a relationship, the guy will probably not take it very seriously and will have a lessened respect for her. So exercise your own judgment as to when it is right- if you don’t trust your own, trust God’s and wait until marriage.
On a final note, it might sound like I’m only trying to sell chastity to girls and women, but in reality, much of this applies to men as well. There are a few men out there who don’t deserve the low expectations set for their gender and can control themselves. If you really want to elevate yourself to the status of a demigod in your future partner, you should wait too. Show that you are above the contests of masculinity that go on to see who can “tap that” first. A truly virtuous man would stand up to the challenge and would realize the hypocrisy that dictates most sexual relations. Nothing will melt a girl’s heart faster than the line “I waited for you.” So while no one expects men to “be the better person”, if you do abstain, I honestly do not believe you will regret it.
Source of inspiration: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/42c_dating_advice.html
Sunday, February 21, 2010
"A man would rather have another man’s jealousy than another man’s respect"
By: Kelly
A friend of mine shared this quote with me and told me that it is true of men and asked if it was true of women. I can answer fully that this is not true for women. Men and women have very different ways of viewing jealousy. For men, jealousy is almost a sign of respect. It is more difficult for a man to distinguish between jealousy and admiration than it is for a woman. Just think about it- men are natural competitors and always get into arguments or discussions where they each try to prove that they have the upper hand. I remember the first time I realized that boys did this- it was in kindergarten. I sat at a table with two boys and they would have conversations along these lines:
Joey: “I have five dollars.”
Mark: “Yeah well my mom gave me ten dollars.”
Joey: “Yeah well I bet you don’t have one of these” *pulls out Batman lunchbox*
Mark: (clearly racking his brain for a lie that will elevate his status above Joey’s) “That’s nothing- I have my own Batman costume and everything!”
Joey: (blatantly lying at this point) “I have my own Batmobile!”
*boys start wrestling* Meanwhile…*Kelly rolls her eyes and thinks about stabbing herself with a pencil*
I remember even then thinking how silly it was that boys did that- I didn’t realize it at the time but it’s another form of the classic arguments guys have about whose is bigger. When a guy sees another guy who has what they want- the girls, the status, the traits, the stuff- they don’t look down on that guy or tear him apart. Once they recognize defeat, they establish a grudging respect and admiration. I didn’t understand at the time that the way boys handle jealousy is much more civilized than the way girls handle it.
Girls fight dirty. They take jealousy as a personal assault and do everything in their power to tear the other girl apart. Girls dehumanize those they are jealous of and make them into evil villains while elevating themselves to the status of saints. They feel threatened by the girl who seems to have everything so they try to take those things away through backstabbing gossip. This is one reason why I laugh whenever I hear people say “If women ran the world there would be no war”. I actually think men are the more merciful leaders and that if women ran the world, it would be even more of a bloody mess. Guys are able to move on once defeat is declared and respect the enemy while girls are like elephants- they never forget and never stop at just getting even. Think about it- how many negative adjectives do we have that are distinctly feminine? Catty, ditzy, shallow, bitchy…Now how many negative adjectives do we have that are distinctly masculine? Barbaric, vulgar, obnoxious, ass. The female adjectives describe the way girls are two-faced with their sharp tongues and loose lips while the male adjectives describe the simplistic and straight-forward way that guys approach life. So for men it might be true that jealousy is almost a higher form of respect, but for girls, it is very dangerous to be the one everyone envies.
A friend of mine shared this quote with me and told me that it is true of men and asked if it was true of women. I can answer fully that this is not true for women. Men and women have very different ways of viewing jealousy. For men, jealousy is almost a sign of respect. It is more difficult for a man to distinguish between jealousy and admiration than it is for a woman. Just think about it- men are natural competitors and always get into arguments or discussions where they each try to prove that they have the upper hand. I remember the first time I realized that boys did this- it was in kindergarten. I sat at a table with two boys and they would have conversations along these lines:
Joey: “I have five dollars.”
Mark: “Yeah well my mom gave me ten dollars.”
Joey: “Yeah well I bet you don’t have one of these” *pulls out Batman lunchbox*
Mark: (clearly racking his brain for a lie that will elevate his status above Joey’s) “That’s nothing- I have my own Batman costume and everything!”
Joey: (blatantly lying at this point) “I have my own Batmobile!”
*boys start wrestling* Meanwhile…*Kelly rolls her eyes and thinks about stabbing herself with a pencil*
I remember even then thinking how silly it was that boys did that- I didn’t realize it at the time but it’s another form of the classic arguments guys have about whose is bigger. When a guy sees another guy who has what they want- the girls, the status, the traits, the stuff- they don’t look down on that guy or tear him apart. Once they recognize defeat, they establish a grudging respect and admiration. I didn’t understand at the time that the way boys handle jealousy is much more civilized than the way girls handle it.
Girls fight dirty. They take jealousy as a personal assault and do everything in their power to tear the other girl apart. Girls dehumanize those they are jealous of and make them into evil villains while elevating themselves to the status of saints. They feel threatened by the girl who seems to have everything so they try to take those things away through backstabbing gossip. This is one reason why I laugh whenever I hear people say “If women ran the world there would be no war”. I actually think men are the more merciful leaders and that if women ran the world, it would be even more of a bloody mess. Guys are able to move on once defeat is declared and respect the enemy while girls are like elephants- they never forget and never stop at just getting even. Think about it- how many negative adjectives do we have that are distinctly feminine? Catty, ditzy, shallow, bitchy…Now how many negative adjectives do we have that are distinctly masculine? Barbaric, vulgar, obnoxious, ass. The female adjectives describe the way girls are two-faced with their sharp tongues and loose lips while the male adjectives describe the simplistic and straight-forward way that guys approach life. So for men it might be true that jealousy is almost a higher form of respect, but for girls, it is very dangerous to be the one everyone envies.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Opposite Mind Sets
By: Monica
Over and over again I mention how different the mind sets of women and men really are. Each think they are the dominant sex, regardless of society's stereotypes. Here's a little story to drive the point home :)
Over and over again I mention how different the mind sets of women and men really are. Each think they are the dominant sex, regardless of society's stereotypes. Here's a little story to drive the point home :)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Valentine's Day
Posted By: Kelly
Soo, here's to showing that not all girls buy into the sappy, commercialized holiday of Valentine's Day. Sometimes when we say, "you don't have to get us anything" we really mean it. Some girls don't like the generic flowers/chocolate/jewelry. But still, custom dictates that when in a relationship, you are basically obligated to show your appreciation for the ones you love on this day. That doesn't mean you can't be creative:
If you can't find a heart-shaped steak, print out the following and go up to your partner and ask them if they want to fill out a mad lib. Ask them for verbs, nouns, and adjectives and once you have this filled out say "Look honey I wrote you a poem."
Fantastic and/or Awesome Poem for _____(Girlfriend's Name)
_____(Pet name), your eyes are as _____(adjective) as a _____(celestial body).
Your beauty is like that of _____(name of a Greek Goddess)
I often lose myself in your _____(body part)
It's _____(degree of difficulty) for me to contain my _____(type of emotion) for you
This is usually when I expletive your _____(organ(s)) out
When we're together it's like _____ (favorite place/fast food restaurant)
You're the _____(adjective-est) girl I've ever known
Living without you would be like losing my _____(adjective) _____ (noun)
I simply cannot _____ (verb) without you
I couldn't go on if it meant I couldn't _____(expletive) you on my _____ (family member-'s) _____ (piece of furniture )
It feels so _____ (adjective) on my _____(expletive) when you _____(verb) it
So stay with me forever, and I'll be sure to _____(verb) you for _____(length of time) and ______ (degree of effort)
Just thinking about it makes my ______(noun) _____(verb)
Love you
However, while a sense of humor is good, this attitude probably won't cut it:
"I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine."
One last completely unrelated Valentine-ish joke, not to get too political or anything:
Kudos to collegehumor for the majority of these ideas.
Soo, here's to showing that not all girls buy into the sappy, commercialized holiday of Valentine's Day. Sometimes when we say, "you don't have to get us anything" we really mean it. Some girls don't like the generic flowers/chocolate/jewelry. But still, custom dictates that when in a relationship, you are basically obligated to show your appreciation for the ones you love on this day. That doesn't mean you can't be creative:
If you can't find a heart-shaped steak, print out the following and go up to your partner and ask them if they want to fill out a mad lib. Ask them for verbs, nouns, and adjectives and once you have this filled out say "Look honey I wrote you a poem."
Fantastic and/or Awesome Poem for _____(Girlfriend's Name)
_____(Pet name), your eyes are as _____(adjective) as a _____(celestial body).
Your beauty is like that of _____(name of a Greek Goddess)
I often lose myself in your _____(body part)
It's _____(degree of difficulty) for me to contain my _____(type of emotion) for you
This is usually when I expletive your _____(organ(s)) out
When we're together it's like _____ (favorite place/fast food restaurant)
You're the _____(adjective-est) girl I've ever known
Living without you would be like losing my _____(adjective) _____ (noun)
I simply cannot _____ (verb) without you
I couldn't go on if it meant I couldn't _____(expletive) you on my _____ (family member-'s) _____ (piece of furniture )
It feels so _____ (adjective) on my _____(expletive) when you _____(verb) it
So stay with me forever, and I'll be sure to _____(verb) you for _____(length of time) and ______ (degree of effort)
Just thinking about it makes my ______(noun) _____(verb)
Love you
However, while a sense of humor is good, this attitude probably won't cut it:
"I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine."
One last completely unrelated Valentine-ish joke, not to get too political or anything:
Kudos to collegehumor for the majority of these ideas.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Questions Women Want Answered
By: Monica
Yahoo! Personals have, yet again, been my inspiration. This time, women sent in questions they desperately wanted men to answer. Naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands and answer some of the questions for the guys. Save them the effort of having to explain themselves to the more confusing, complicated, over-analytical opposite sex.
1. Did you really think those Super Bowl ads were funny?
I'm pretty sure the answer to this question is yes. I'm a woman and I thought they were funny.
2. Bar soap or body wash?
It's the 21st Century so I'm pretty sure both males and females have converted to body wash by now. Unless you're Amish, in which case you wouldn't be using the internet to read or answer these questions anyway.
3. Why ask for my number if you’re not going to actually call?
Easy. Because:
1. It impresses you.
2. It convinces you there might be something and, therefore keeps you interested.
3. They have it just in case they actually do want to call you back at some point.
Remember Ladies, if a guy doesn't call back within three days, that does not mean he won't call. Don't sit next to the phone waiting for it to ring and be in tears after the first night. He might just be one of those guys that is attempting to make you crazy about him and decides to use that three day rule (though personally, I'm not a believer).
4. Why the mindset that being in a long-term relationship is the end of fun?
Look at it this way. Sure, the thought of having a piece of chocolate cake may be enticing, but if you are verbally informed that you will be eating that piece of chocolate cake three times a day for the rest of your life, it is not good news. Variety is welcoming because even chocolate cake can get old after a while. Here's the thing. If you're in a relationship that lives day to day and goes with the flow, the guy won't even notice that he's in a long-term relationship. Who really decides the exact date it switches from short-term to long-term? That's right, nobody. Therefore, if it is eased into, no one really cares, and once he's been with you for a year or more, he won't mind admitting thats he's in it for the long-term.
5. Is there such a thing as “too slutty”?
Yes.
6. Why do you always seem to be drawn to women who are dramatic?
They are not. Some men prefer the more dramatic girls, some prefer the calmer chicks. It's all a personal preference, not a general gender preference.
7. Why do you continue to eat spicy foods if it only makes you feel sick?
Why do you continue to shop even though you're sucking your bank account dry? It's immediate indulgence.
8. Why do you just disappear? If you don’t want to keep dating me, why not just say something?
Why do you tip toe around telling a guy you don't like him when he obviously likes you? You can drop as many hints as you want but the guy won't pick them up because he's blinded by love (or whatever you want to call it). Same deal here. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings and maybe you're just not picking up his subtle hints. So he does what he thinks is best for both of you: he runs.
Yahoo! Personals have, yet again, been my inspiration. This time, women sent in questions they desperately wanted men to answer. Naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands and answer some of the questions for the guys. Save them the effort of having to explain themselves to the more confusing, complicated, over-analytical opposite sex.
1. Did you really think those Super Bowl ads were funny?
I'm pretty sure the answer to this question is yes. I'm a woman and I thought they were funny.
2. Bar soap or body wash?
It's the 21st Century so I'm pretty sure both males and females have converted to body wash by now. Unless you're Amish, in which case you wouldn't be using the internet to read or answer these questions anyway.
3. Why ask for my number if you’re not going to actually call?
Easy. Because:
1. It impresses you.
2. It convinces you there might be something and, therefore keeps you interested.
3. They have it just in case they actually do want to call you back at some point.
Remember Ladies, if a guy doesn't call back within three days, that does not mean he won't call. Don't sit next to the phone waiting for it to ring and be in tears after the first night. He might just be one of those guys that is attempting to make you crazy about him and decides to use that three day rule (though personally, I'm not a believer).
4. Why the mindset that being in a long-term relationship is the end of fun?
Look at it this way. Sure, the thought of having a piece of chocolate cake may be enticing, but if you are verbally informed that you will be eating that piece of chocolate cake three times a day for the rest of your life, it is not good news. Variety is welcoming because even chocolate cake can get old after a while. Here's the thing. If you're in a relationship that lives day to day and goes with the flow, the guy won't even notice that he's in a long-term relationship. Who really decides the exact date it switches from short-term to long-term? That's right, nobody. Therefore, if it is eased into, no one really cares, and once he's been with you for a year or more, he won't mind admitting thats he's in it for the long-term.
5. Is there such a thing as “too slutty”?
Yes.
6. Why do you always seem to be drawn to women who are dramatic?
They are not. Some men prefer the more dramatic girls, some prefer the calmer chicks. It's all a personal preference, not a general gender preference.
7. Why do you continue to eat spicy foods if it only makes you feel sick?
Why do you continue to shop even though you're sucking your bank account dry? It's immediate indulgence.
8. Why do you just disappear? If you don’t want to keep dating me, why not just say something?
Why do you tip toe around telling a guy you don't like him when he obviously likes you? You can drop as many hints as you want but the guy won't pick them up because he's blinded by love (or whatever you want to call it). Same deal here. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings and maybe you're just not picking up his subtle hints. So he does what he thinks is best for both of you: he runs.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
“You don’t just stop loving someone, either you never did or you always will.”
By: Kelly
I don’t think people truly can fall out of love. When people claim that they have, there are several possibilities:
1)They were never really in love with their partner in the first place. Rather, they got carried away and mistook infatuation for love, overestimating their feelings. This is the puppy love that teenagers gush about so often in high school.
2)They fell in love with an ideal. It’s natural for a person to idealize their partner initially in a relationship, but most people are eventually able to adapt their initial conceptions of their partner to fit with the reality of who their partner really is. If however, when they see past that polished version of their partner, they end the relationship because they aren’t happy with what (or who) they see, it shows they were never in love with their partner but only with whom they envisioned them to be. Love can be blind- our hearts can justify murder with the best of intentions when it comes to those we care for.
3)Either one person in the relationship or the other changed and became someone they hadn’t originally been when the couple first met. In this case, the love one partner has for another continues, but it is as if their partner has died because they are no longer the person they first fell for. It isn’t that they’ve fallen out of love with that person, it’s just that the person they fell in love with no longer exists. This is very common among teenagers and young adults who are still figuring out who they are going to be and what they believe in. We change a lot as we grow older and sometimes become completely different people than who were originally were.
4)People believe they’ve fallen out of love because they don’t “feel it” anymore. However, it is inevitable that the passion in every relationship will subside to some extent eventually. There is a natural transition in all good relationships to a relationship based more off of companionship. It doesn’t mean the passion is gone forever, it just means it isn’t the defining quality of the relationship. Just because you don’t feel something at a certain moment doesn’t mean that feeling is gone forever. Stick it out and be patient because love isn’t an easy thing to come by.
5)Then there are people who have scarred their relationships irreparably through vicious fights or tragic experiences. In cases like these, the love the couple shares isn’t gone but it is overpowered by the history between them. Each person serves as a constant reminder to the other of everything they’ve gone through. Even though they still love one another and always will, being together is too painful so they learn to move on and meet new people.
Here’s the bottom line- true love ever actually disappears. Sometimes, however, it does fade into the background. If you legitimately like someone and there is a certain inexplicable dynamic between the two you that just works- you naturally click- that bond never disappears entirely. It is always waiting in the rafters ready to swoop down at the most opportune (or inopportune) moment. Many times this abandoned (I’d say repressed, but I don’t want to go totally Freudian on you) attraction is kept at bay forever however, because you move on, meet new people, and forget about the one you once fell for. Sure, exes can be friends but they can never be friends the way they might have been before dating. Personal histories cannot be ignored and the intimacy you once shared with a person is always still with you, no matter how much you deny it. Love might fade with the memories but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still there, buried somewhere deep inside. As long as you can still remember why you fell for someone in the first place and your initial reasoning still makes sense to you, that possibility you once shared with a person continues to live on in some form, even if you never feel it or act upon it.
I fully believe that so much of what we feel and why we feel the way we do is hidden to us beneath our subconsciouses. Our hearts are not just mindless vessels of blood pumping life throughout our body. Instead, they are living organs that think for themselves and hide their intentions from us. They are the master manipulators, the double agents that physically control you without your understanding or permission. Be afraid. Be very afraid- because no one is immune to the power of love. Your heart will never cease to surprise you and rekindle old feelings that you thought had disappeared forever.
This is precisely why Monica and I are the experts we consider ourselves to be. We have the keen power of observation because we aren’t controlled by our hearts. True, we’ve had our fair share of times when our emotions have gotten the best of us when dealing with guys, and when that has happened to each of us, we’ve had to rely on the other to assess the situation because we were unable to do it for ourselves anymore- the bias got in the way and impaired us from seeing the whole picture. In general however, we don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves and haven’t fallen completely prey to our hearts. That is why we can interpret things as they truly are- we aren’t looking at the world through a pair or love-injected rose colored glasses. Not yet anyway.
I don’t think people truly can fall out of love. When people claim that they have, there are several possibilities:
1)They were never really in love with their partner in the first place. Rather, they got carried away and mistook infatuation for love, overestimating their feelings. This is the puppy love that teenagers gush about so often in high school.
2)They fell in love with an ideal. It’s natural for a person to idealize their partner initially in a relationship, but most people are eventually able to adapt their initial conceptions of their partner to fit with the reality of who their partner really is. If however, when they see past that polished version of their partner, they end the relationship because they aren’t happy with what (or who) they see, it shows they were never in love with their partner but only with whom they envisioned them to be. Love can be blind- our hearts can justify murder with the best of intentions when it comes to those we care for.
3)Either one person in the relationship or the other changed and became someone they hadn’t originally been when the couple first met. In this case, the love one partner has for another continues, but it is as if their partner has died because they are no longer the person they first fell for. It isn’t that they’ve fallen out of love with that person, it’s just that the person they fell in love with no longer exists. This is very common among teenagers and young adults who are still figuring out who they are going to be and what they believe in. We change a lot as we grow older and sometimes become completely different people than who were originally were.
4)People believe they’ve fallen out of love because they don’t “feel it” anymore. However, it is inevitable that the passion in every relationship will subside to some extent eventually. There is a natural transition in all good relationships to a relationship based more off of companionship. It doesn’t mean the passion is gone forever, it just means it isn’t the defining quality of the relationship. Just because you don’t feel something at a certain moment doesn’t mean that feeling is gone forever. Stick it out and be patient because love isn’t an easy thing to come by.
5)Then there are people who have scarred their relationships irreparably through vicious fights or tragic experiences. In cases like these, the love the couple shares isn’t gone but it is overpowered by the history between them. Each person serves as a constant reminder to the other of everything they’ve gone through. Even though they still love one another and always will, being together is too painful so they learn to move on and meet new people.
Here’s the bottom line- true love ever actually disappears. Sometimes, however, it does fade into the background. If you legitimately like someone and there is a certain inexplicable dynamic between the two you that just works- you naturally click- that bond never disappears entirely. It is always waiting in the rafters ready to swoop down at the most opportune (or inopportune) moment. Many times this abandoned (I’d say repressed, but I don’t want to go totally Freudian on you) attraction is kept at bay forever however, because you move on, meet new people, and forget about the one you once fell for. Sure, exes can be friends but they can never be friends the way they might have been before dating. Personal histories cannot be ignored and the intimacy you once shared with a person is always still with you, no matter how much you deny it. Love might fade with the memories but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still there, buried somewhere deep inside. As long as you can still remember why you fell for someone in the first place and your initial reasoning still makes sense to you, that possibility you once shared with a person continues to live on in some form, even if you never feel it or act upon it.
I fully believe that so much of what we feel and why we feel the way we do is hidden to us beneath our subconsciouses. Our hearts are not just mindless vessels of blood pumping life throughout our body. Instead, they are living organs that think for themselves and hide their intentions from us. They are the master manipulators, the double agents that physically control you without your understanding or permission. Be afraid. Be very afraid- because no one is immune to the power of love. Your heart will never cease to surprise you and rekindle old feelings that you thought had disappeared forever.
This is precisely why Monica and I are the experts we consider ourselves to be. We have the keen power of observation because we aren’t controlled by our hearts. True, we’ve had our fair share of times when our emotions have gotten the best of us when dealing with guys, and when that has happened to each of us, we’ve had to rely on the other to assess the situation because we were unable to do it for ourselves anymore- the bias got in the way and impaired us from seeing the whole picture. In general however, we don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves and haven’t fallen completely prey to our hearts. That is why we can interpret things as they truly are- we aren’t looking at the world through a pair or love-injected rose colored glasses. Not yet anyway.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
What Doesn't Kill You...
By: Monica
As a precaution, this post is not about what is right or wrong, it is purely my personal opinion. Yet, I find that many people agree with me. Here is the issue:
We have all heard the phrase, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". I believe this applies to relationships as well. Sure, there have been couples who have been married for thirty years and have never had a legitimate argument. But, I believe arguments and disagreements are vital to a healthy relationship. They prove that the two of you are comfortable and confident enough around each other to express your true feelings and opinions. This is a good thing. Now, keep in mind, I am not endorsing physical or emotional abuse. Notice I used the word argument, not fight. Needless to say, there are still those who would whole heartedly disagree with me. Some believe that a lack of arguing is better for a relationship than the occasional squabble. However, would life not be a snore if everything was lovey dovey all the time? If your partner did not counter your perspective once in a while? I know I need someone who has individual thoughts and feelings. Someone who can think for himself and form his own opinions. Life would get boring if he just agreed with everything I said. I, myself, am a highly opinionated person and need someone to disagree with me once in a while. Take a look at the movie, The Notebook. Of course, the example is a bit extreme for today's society. I don't expect you to beat up your boyfriend's car while he's attempting to drive away. However, the dynamic between the two main characters is so deeply passionate because they are able to butt heads and still come out of the argument as best friends. As seen in the movie, Noah has a way with words,and this quote is no exception:
As a precaution, this post is not about what is right or wrong, it is purely my personal opinion. Yet, I find that many people agree with me. Here is the issue:
We have all heard the phrase, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". I believe this applies to relationships as well. Sure, there have been couples who have been married for thirty years and have never had a legitimate argument. But, I believe arguments and disagreements are vital to a healthy relationship. They prove that the two of you are comfortable and confident enough around each other to express your true feelings and opinions. This is a good thing. Now, keep in mind, I am not endorsing physical or emotional abuse. Notice I used the word argument, not fight. Needless to say, there are still those who would whole heartedly disagree with me. Some believe that a lack of arguing is better for a relationship than the occasional squabble. However, would life not be a snore if everything was lovey dovey all the time? If your partner did not counter your perspective once in a while? I know I need someone who has individual thoughts and feelings. Someone who can think for himself and form his own opinions. Life would get boring if he just agreed with everything I said. I, myself, am a highly opinionated person and need someone to disagree with me once in a while. Take a look at the movie, The Notebook. Of course, the example is a bit extreme for today's society. I don't expect you to beat up your boyfriend's car while he's attempting to drive away. However, the dynamic between the two main characters is so deeply passionate because they are able to butt heads and still come out of the argument as best friends. As seen in the movie, Noah has a way with words,and this quote is no exception:
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
How to Treat a Girl
By: Kelly
I’m reminded now and then of how differently most people view relationship matters from the way I do. One reminder came to me when a friend of mine posted the following article on facebook called “How to Treat a Girl”. Having a feeling this was going to be blog material, I copied and pasted it and made notes as I read it on my opinion about the issue. Read on. (Oh, and I apologize in advance for how long this is *winces*)
How to Treat a Girl
by Lynn Scoresby
(if this isn’t any early warning, I don’t know what is. Lynn? Really? That’s his name? Already this guy screams Pansy. Although his last name hints that there might be something of a player in him…)
Learning how to treat a girl right is one of the most important things any guy can do.
Today teenagers don't go around carrying a handkerchief. But back when I was a young man, having a handkerchief ready for an emergency (like someone crying, for example) (someone? Don’t you mean a girl? Do you also carry around smelling salts to revive her when she swoons from your dominating masculinity?) was considered important. At least, my mother certainly thought so. I was walking out the door on one of my first dates when I heard my mother calling me back. I went inside to find her with a white handkerchief in her hand. (We don’t need men to carry around handkerchiefs anymore- in emergency situations, men now just rip their shirts off in a Taylor Lautner-like fashion.)
"Do you have a clean handkerchief?" she asked. "Mom," I said in that special voice reserved for mothers by exasperated sons. I took the handkerchief because I just wanted to be on my way. I stuffed it into my pocket, and I was out the door without thinking any more about it.
I don't remember much about that date, but I do remember asking my mother afterward why a clean handkerchief was such a big deal. This led to a conversation that taught me about establishing good relationships with young women. Even though having a white handkerchief is probably the farthest thing from anyone's mind before going on a date, the importance of courtesy and respect that my mother taught me is just as important today as it was back then. It is sad that now, instead of mothers giving their sons handkerchiefs, they give them condoms. I do admit that there is a certain charm in “the old ways” and I do like chivalry to an extent, as I mentioned in an earlier post.
Now, I don't mean that I ever treated girls disrespectfully; but I certainly had a lot to learn about how a guy is supposed to act. My mother explained, for example, that as a sign of courtesy young men should
(1) walk ahead of their date in a darkened theater or room, (Most women would actually prefer to walk in front of the guy because EVERYONE has observed a couple in action when they walk into a theater late- the male walks over and gestures to a seat and his partner immediately finds something wrong with it and gets up to find a more suitable seat, not caring that she is blocking people’s views. In most cases, it’s just easier to let the woman pick the seat.
(2) walk on the outside of the sidewalk, next to the road, (This gets my seal of approval; although I doubt I would ever notice that a guy was being courteous by doing so. At least it might keep the guys driving by from wolf-whistling or yelling out, “Ay chica!”)
(3) stand when a girl the same age or a woman enters the room and stand when she leaves,(Last time I checked, this was a requirement of a consort seeking marriage with royalty. Guess what ladies? You AREN’T royalty and your man isn’t your slave. That is just sad- could a guy be any more whipped? If a guy I was dating did that I’d ask him if there was a pincushion on his chair causing the pain that was forcing him to spring out of it every time I got up. The last person to expect people to do something that ridiculous was Louis XIV and he had enough power issues to last a few thousand years.)
(4) wait until the women have been seated (and help them be seated if it is a formal date) before seating myself, (5) don't start eating before your date (Alright, I concede this one is legit but that’s just how I was raised.) (6) always thank a girl after a dance or date, and (7) opening car and building doors and is a sign of respect.
At first I suspected my mother's suggestions for dating etiquette were out-dated - or worse, that they were some kind of female conspiracy transmitted from generation to generation in order to control guys. After I dismissed the conspiracy theory I selfishly thought that if guys did all those nice things for girls, we would be the only ones doing all the nice things. "What are they doing for us?" I thought selfishly. Girls usually aren't the ones to ask us out on a date - or have to deal with being turned down, and they don't have to keep standing all the time, or open doors for the boys. He has a valid point but guess what? There isn’t a thing men can do about it because women will always have veto power. See earlier blog post for explanation as to why. Men CAN however, at least make it LOOK like they’re in control. That should be the goal for men- otherwise women will walk all over you or never be interested in you as more than a friend. Girls that like a challenge are the ones worth keeping. This guy has come to the conclusion that it is easier to just give in to what he thinks women want- but while this may be easier, it isn’t better because even though 99% of them don’t know it, that is not what women want.
Because of my suspicions and selfishness I was undecided about whether I even wanted to try my mother's ideas. But I soon learned that there are some time-honored ways for young men to act, and that young women usually like to be treated in those ways. When people go on dates there are doors, cars, dances, meals, rooms, introductions, and movie theaters. Each of those items represents a potentially awkward situation if the guy doesn't know what to do - believe me, I know from experience.
One such experience came at one of my first dances. Somehow I'd gathered the courage to remove myself from the wall and ask someone to dance with me. The girl I asked actually said, "Yes," and suddenly I found myself out on the dance floor feeling rather uncomfortable. Fortunately, however, some of my friends had found partners also and joined us. As we danced, my friends and I made comments to one another and before I knew it, our talking had turned into a full-fledged conversation that excluded our partners. Immersed in the discussion, I became oblivious to the young lady I was dancing with and somehow drifted off of the dance floor without even realizing it. Back at the wall again I glanced out at those still dancing and, to my embarrassment, saw my partner out on the floor, alone. An awful feeling settled in my stomach. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what or how to even go about it in an awkward situation like this. So I did nothing. That night, I decided that some of my mother's ideas might be worth trying.
As I did so, the first thing that happened was unexpected. The girls I went out with began to think I knew what I was doing and relaxed around me. The nervousness I sometimes felt disappeared too, and I started having more fun. The more we relaxed, the easier it was to talk. Talking comfortably might not seem very important, but it is the way friendships and liking begin and continue. By communicating well, I also began to get to know girls better.
I'll admit that when I first started dating, I wanted to be seen with girls who wouldn't tarnish the reputation I thought I had to protect. However, after spending time with some young women, having long talks with them and my mother about many things, I found out that girls could be friends without any physical relationship. In fact, some of the dates I enjoyed most were with girls who were fun and didn't worry about trying to make boys like them.
I soon found, though, that I felt better around and preferred the company of some young women over others. After talking about it, my mother suggested that I needed to learn how and why I got along better with some than with others because it would help me when it came time to get more serious about finding someone to marry. So I learned to be observant on a date, to think about why I did or did not feel comfortable. Being observant is SO important for guys to learn because it doesn’t come naturally to men the way it does for women. Being observant is a sure-fire way to become a ladies-man. To be able to recognize the little warning signals in advance will make them think you are in tune with your emotions and are sensitive- something many women like. And even for women who don’t like the sensitive type, they’ll be impressed and relieved that they don’t have to spell everything out for you.
I began to look at those I went out with for the characteristics I thought important, like how well they communicated, their sense of humor, what they believed about religion and what they thought about themselves. I didn't think much about it then, but I know I was storing up ideas. More important, I also found out that most girls start out wanting to have genuine, fun friendships because they are evaluating young men too. What's more, as we evaluate others, we're also evaluating ourselves. Most people feel complimented by genuine interest and questions that give them an opportunity to talk about themselves.
My willingness to treat a young woman with genuine interest and to stop trying too hard to impress her helped me discover that I was often guilty of prejudging. I found after talking to some girls that what I had thought about them at first was later proven untrue.
My mother also taught me that courtesy and acceptance are ways of showing respect, not only toward girls, women, and even toward other guys, but also for myself. This knowledge and skill has helped me many times because it has increased my confidence around others. I believe I am less afraid to meet new people, enter new situations, speak in public, and carry on private conversations because manners help me know what to do. Manners have helped me, and many other guys, overcome a natural shyness. In other words, it’s easier to play the part of the “Southern Gentleman” because it gives you something of an identity that sets you apart from the other jerks out there and gives you a confidence boost. The confidence boost, not the manners, is what truly helps a guy attract girls. If you have manners but no confidence, you’ll never attract anyone under the age of 45. But if manners are a way for you to acquire confidence, more power to you. Still, this proves a point I made in a previous post that there are no gentlemen, only really good, well-trained actors.
Women deserve the respect of men. Both men and women are warmed by it and helped to feel secure. In an age when there is much concern about equality of the sexes, some women are receiving unequal amounts of rudeness and disrespect. Many men are using the idea of female equality as an excuse to neglect courtesy.
My mother helped me to learn and show respect for her, and consequently taught me that all girls and women are deserving of it. No one benefits by demeaning or rejecting another person. When young women are ennobled by the respect young men show them, both are elevated.
It never occurred to me as a young man that if a boy treats a girl like a queen, he is raising himself to a higher level too. (Not necessarily true…if you are trying to pick up someone well above your own level, treating her like a queen is recognizing her superiority. Girls like that are used to being treated like queens- if you REALLY want to attract her, ignore her a little bit more. Either it will make you stand out and make her wonder what makes you so special that would ignore Her Highness, or she still won’t see you, in which case you’ll know that’s not the relationship for you. Girls get bored when they think they are the center of your life- they are most interested when you are a challenge. Manners attract self-entitled control freaks more often than not. A truly decent girl would never expect a guy to do any of the above things- she would expect mutual respect not one-sided worship. No decent girl wants someone who’s whipped. Be respectful and definitely show her you care in little ways- but don’t expect that to earn you her love because that alone never will. All men can learn honest courtesy. And all men can be known as "good dates," not because of their social standing or good looks, but because of the respect and kindness they show to those they date. I would argue that wit, charm, and confidence are just as important as respect and kindness. Even if your wit and charm is more “quirky” than “cool”, it still shows that you know who you are and are happy in your own skin- as long as you have that, there is bound to be a girl who finds your personal charm, well, charming. Wit and confidence will earn you interest and attraction and respect and kindness will earn you respect and trust. Put them together, and it might just lead to love.
Sorry Lynn, but you'll never Scoreby that advice you just gave.
I’m reminded now and then of how differently most people view relationship matters from the way I do. One reminder came to me when a friend of mine posted the following article on facebook called “How to Treat a Girl”. Having a feeling this was going to be blog material, I copied and pasted it and made notes as I read it on my opinion about the issue. Read on. (Oh, and I apologize in advance for how long this is *winces*)
How to Treat a Girl
by Lynn Scoresby
(if this isn’t any early warning, I don’t know what is. Lynn? Really? That’s his name? Already this guy screams Pansy. Although his last name hints that there might be something of a player in him…)
Learning how to treat a girl right is one of the most important things any guy can do.
Today teenagers don't go around carrying a handkerchief. But back when I was a young man, having a handkerchief ready for an emergency (like someone crying, for example) (someone? Don’t you mean a girl? Do you also carry around smelling salts to revive her when she swoons from your dominating masculinity?) was considered important. At least, my mother certainly thought so. I was walking out the door on one of my first dates when I heard my mother calling me back. I went inside to find her with a white handkerchief in her hand. (We don’t need men to carry around handkerchiefs anymore- in emergency situations, men now just rip their shirts off in a Taylor Lautner-like fashion.)
"Do you have a clean handkerchief?" she asked. "Mom," I said in that special voice reserved for mothers by exasperated sons. I took the handkerchief because I just wanted to be on my way. I stuffed it into my pocket, and I was out the door without thinking any more about it.
I don't remember much about that date, but I do remember asking my mother afterward why a clean handkerchief was such a big deal. This led to a conversation that taught me about establishing good relationships with young women. Even though having a white handkerchief is probably the farthest thing from anyone's mind before going on a date, the importance of courtesy and respect that my mother taught me is just as important today as it was back then. It is sad that now, instead of mothers giving their sons handkerchiefs, they give them condoms. I do admit that there is a certain charm in “the old ways” and I do like chivalry to an extent, as I mentioned in an earlier post.
Now, I don't mean that I ever treated girls disrespectfully; but I certainly had a lot to learn about how a guy is supposed to act. My mother explained, for example, that as a sign of courtesy young men should
(1) walk ahead of their date in a darkened theater or room, (Most women would actually prefer to walk in front of the guy because EVERYONE has observed a couple in action when they walk into a theater late- the male walks over and gestures to a seat and his partner immediately finds something wrong with it and gets up to find a more suitable seat, not caring that she is blocking people’s views. In most cases, it’s just easier to let the woman pick the seat.
(2) walk on the outside of the sidewalk, next to the road, (This gets my seal of approval; although I doubt I would ever notice that a guy was being courteous by doing so. At least it might keep the guys driving by from wolf-whistling or yelling out, “Ay chica!”)
(3) stand when a girl the same age or a woman enters the room and stand when she leaves,(Last time I checked, this was a requirement of a consort seeking marriage with royalty. Guess what ladies? You AREN’T royalty and your man isn’t your slave. That is just sad- could a guy be any more whipped? If a guy I was dating did that I’d ask him if there was a pincushion on his chair causing the pain that was forcing him to spring out of it every time I got up. The last person to expect people to do something that ridiculous was Louis XIV and he had enough power issues to last a few thousand years.)
(4) wait until the women have been seated (and help them be seated if it is a formal date) before seating myself, (5) don't start eating before your date (Alright, I concede this one is legit but that’s just how I was raised.) (6) always thank a girl after a dance or date, and (7) opening car and building doors and is a sign of respect.
At first I suspected my mother's suggestions for dating etiquette were out-dated - or worse, that they were some kind of female conspiracy transmitted from generation to generation in order to control guys. After I dismissed the conspiracy theory I selfishly thought that if guys did all those nice things for girls, we would be the only ones doing all the nice things. "What are they doing for us?" I thought selfishly. Girls usually aren't the ones to ask us out on a date - or have to deal with being turned down, and they don't have to keep standing all the time, or open doors for the boys. He has a valid point but guess what? There isn’t a thing men can do about it because women will always have veto power. See earlier blog post for explanation as to why. Men CAN however, at least make it LOOK like they’re in control. That should be the goal for men- otherwise women will walk all over you or never be interested in you as more than a friend. Girls that like a challenge are the ones worth keeping. This guy has come to the conclusion that it is easier to just give in to what he thinks women want- but while this may be easier, it isn’t better because even though 99% of them don’t know it, that is not what women want.
Because of my suspicions and selfishness I was undecided about whether I even wanted to try my mother's ideas. But I soon learned that there are some time-honored ways for young men to act, and that young women usually like to be treated in those ways. When people go on dates there are doors, cars, dances, meals, rooms, introductions, and movie theaters. Each of those items represents a potentially awkward situation if the guy doesn't know what to do - believe me, I know from experience.
One such experience came at one of my first dances. Somehow I'd gathered the courage to remove myself from the wall and ask someone to dance with me. The girl I asked actually said, "Yes," and suddenly I found myself out on the dance floor feeling rather uncomfortable. Fortunately, however, some of my friends had found partners also and joined us. As we danced, my friends and I made comments to one another and before I knew it, our talking had turned into a full-fledged conversation that excluded our partners. Immersed in the discussion, I became oblivious to the young lady I was dancing with and somehow drifted off of the dance floor without even realizing it. Back at the wall again I glanced out at those still dancing and, to my embarrassment, saw my partner out on the floor, alone. An awful feeling settled in my stomach. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what or how to even go about it in an awkward situation like this. So I did nothing. That night, I decided that some of my mother's ideas might be worth trying.
As I did so, the first thing that happened was unexpected. The girls I went out with began to think I knew what I was doing and relaxed around me. The nervousness I sometimes felt disappeared too, and I started having more fun. The more we relaxed, the easier it was to talk. Talking comfortably might not seem very important, but it is the way friendships and liking begin and continue. By communicating well, I also began to get to know girls better.
I'll admit that when I first started dating, I wanted to be seen with girls who wouldn't tarnish the reputation I thought I had to protect. However, after spending time with some young women, having long talks with them and my mother about many things, I found out that girls could be friends without any physical relationship. In fact, some of the dates I enjoyed most were with girls who were fun and didn't worry about trying to make boys like them.
I soon found, though, that I felt better around and preferred the company of some young women over others. After talking about it, my mother suggested that I needed to learn how and why I got along better with some than with others because it would help me when it came time to get more serious about finding someone to marry. So I learned to be observant on a date, to think about why I did or did not feel comfortable. Being observant is SO important for guys to learn because it doesn’t come naturally to men the way it does for women. Being observant is a sure-fire way to become a ladies-man. To be able to recognize the little warning signals in advance will make them think you are in tune with your emotions and are sensitive- something many women like. And even for women who don’t like the sensitive type, they’ll be impressed and relieved that they don’t have to spell everything out for you.
I began to look at those I went out with for the characteristics I thought important, like how well they communicated, their sense of humor, what they believed about religion and what they thought about themselves. I didn't think much about it then, but I know I was storing up ideas. More important, I also found out that most girls start out wanting to have genuine, fun friendships because they are evaluating young men too. What's more, as we evaluate others, we're also evaluating ourselves. Most people feel complimented by genuine interest and questions that give them an opportunity to talk about themselves.
My willingness to treat a young woman with genuine interest and to stop trying too hard to impress her helped me discover that I was often guilty of prejudging. I found after talking to some girls that what I had thought about them at first was later proven untrue.
My mother also taught me that courtesy and acceptance are ways of showing respect, not only toward girls, women, and even toward other guys, but also for myself. This knowledge and skill has helped me many times because it has increased my confidence around others. I believe I am less afraid to meet new people, enter new situations, speak in public, and carry on private conversations because manners help me know what to do. Manners have helped me, and many other guys, overcome a natural shyness. In other words, it’s easier to play the part of the “Southern Gentleman” because it gives you something of an identity that sets you apart from the other jerks out there and gives you a confidence boost. The confidence boost, not the manners, is what truly helps a guy attract girls. If you have manners but no confidence, you’ll never attract anyone under the age of 45. But if manners are a way for you to acquire confidence, more power to you. Still, this proves a point I made in a previous post that there are no gentlemen, only really good, well-trained actors.
Women deserve the respect of men. Both men and women are warmed by it and helped to feel secure. In an age when there is much concern about equality of the sexes, some women are receiving unequal amounts of rudeness and disrespect. Many men are using the idea of female equality as an excuse to neglect courtesy.
My mother helped me to learn and show respect for her, and consequently taught me that all girls and women are deserving of it. No one benefits by demeaning or rejecting another person. When young women are ennobled by the respect young men show them, both are elevated.
It never occurred to me as a young man that if a boy treats a girl like a queen, he is raising himself to a higher level too. (Not necessarily true…if you are trying to pick up someone well above your own level, treating her like a queen is recognizing her superiority. Girls like that are used to being treated like queens- if you REALLY want to attract her, ignore her a little bit more. Either it will make you stand out and make her wonder what makes you so special that would ignore Her Highness, or she still won’t see you, in which case you’ll know that’s not the relationship for you. Girls get bored when they think they are the center of your life- they are most interested when you are a challenge. Manners attract self-entitled control freaks more often than not. A truly decent girl would never expect a guy to do any of the above things- she would expect mutual respect not one-sided worship. No decent girl wants someone who’s whipped. Be respectful and definitely show her you care in little ways- but don’t expect that to earn you her love because that alone never will. All men can learn honest courtesy. And all men can be known as "good dates," not because of their social standing or good looks, but because of the respect and kindness they show to those they date. I would argue that wit, charm, and confidence are just as important as respect and kindness. Even if your wit and charm is more “quirky” than “cool”, it still shows that you know who you are and are happy in your own skin- as long as you have that, there is bound to be a girl who finds your personal charm, well, charming. Wit and confidence will earn you interest and attraction and respect and kindness will earn you respect and trust. Put them together, and it might just lead to love.
Sorry Lynn, but you'll never Scoreby that advice you just gave.
Monday, February 1, 2010
We're Not As Crazy As We May Seem...
By: Monica
For those who do not understand The Game, it sounds extremely complicated. I will admit, it is complicated. Yet, to the participants who understand it, it comes naturally. However, I've had many friends shoot down this idea of The Game by merely coughing it up to playing "hard to get". This is definitely not the case. Players of this Game do not play hard to get, nor do they intend to. They simply are hard to get. We (as in females who participate)are often labeled as crazy bitches who control every aspect of the relationship. By popular belief, we scavenger for those males that put up a fight in our presence and attempt to hold their own, even if merely by accident.
1. Normal Boy meets Crazy Girl.
2. Normal Boy falls for Crazy-Yet-Interesting Girl.
3. Life becomes hell on adrenaline for Normal Boy as Crazy Girl assumes the role of the devil.
So, here I go, debunking a well-known myth. I (along with other girls who are aware of The Game) am not a psychopath who tries to control every aspect of a guy's life. Nor do I want to. On the contrary, I actually take the road of sitting back, relaxing, and seeing what develops. Whatever happens, happens. Simple as that. Contrary to prior thought, I do not plant remote mines under my boyfriend's car, or search through his text messages, or pick a fight with every girl that talks to him. Why? First off, because it makes a girl look jealous, clingy, and controlling. All the features I do not have. Secondly, it is the first and fastest way to lose him. So, before writing us off as primadonnas who won't settle for less than a guy with a six pack and a wad of cash, why not getting to know us and see that we don't have a list that we check off in order for us to look at you twice. If you give us a fair chance, we'll give you one as well.
For those who do not understand The Game, it sounds extremely complicated. I will admit, it is complicated. Yet, to the participants who understand it, it comes naturally. However, I've had many friends shoot down this idea of The Game by merely coughing it up to playing "hard to get". This is definitely not the case. Players of this Game do not play hard to get, nor do they intend to. They simply are hard to get. We (as in females who participate)are often labeled as crazy bitches who control every aspect of the relationship. By popular belief, we scavenger for those males that put up a fight in our presence and attempt to hold their own, even if merely by accident.
1. Normal Boy meets Crazy Girl.
2. Normal Boy falls for Crazy-Yet-Interesting Girl.
3. Life becomes hell on adrenaline for Normal Boy as Crazy Girl assumes the role of the devil.
So, here I go, debunking a well-known myth. I (along with other girls who are aware of The Game) am not a psychopath who tries to control every aspect of a guy's life. Nor do I want to. On the contrary, I actually take the road of sitting back, relaxing, and seeing what develops. Whatever happens, happens. Simple as that. Contrary to prior thought, I do not plant remote mines under my boyfriend's car, or search through his text messages, or pick a fight with every girl that talks to him. Why? First off, because it makes a girl look jealous, clingy, and controlling. All the features I do not have. Secondly, it is the first and fastest way to lose him. So, before writing us off as primadonnas who won't settle for less than a guy with a six pack and a wad of cash, why not getting to know us and see that we don't have a list that we check off in order for us to look at you twice. If you give us a fair chance, we'll give you one as well.
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