Why Women are in Control

Posted by: Kelly

(Raving-feminist Kelly is going to guest appear several more times before this topic has been exhausted, and then female-bashing Kelly will make a couple of appearances)

“Nemo liber est qui corpori servit” - No one is free who is a slave to his body

This quote explains why women will always be in control. Women might not always exercise this control or take advantage of it, but sex is the leverage they can always pull out of their back pocket and use as veto power in any situation. Men practically need sex the way they need food and water while women need sex the way they need cheesecake- sure it’s great, but it’s more of a delicacy to enjoy on special occasions than a necessity to function on a daily basis. A woman’s greatest asset is her sex appeal. The best part about it is that it operates on the most basic level without much effort from the female. As long as you are remotely well-groomed, proportional, and have normal features, you can work magic. It is a subtle art to master but a very simple one for those who don’t mind operating at the novice level. Most girls will probably deny that they use sex appeal to get what they want but it’s usually a lie. It’s just a simple fact that girls spend more time in front of the mirror getting ready in the morning than guys do. Why they do it is more complicated, however.

I’ve heard three reasons- 1) I do it for myself, 2) I do it for other girls/friends, and 3) I do it for guys. Personally, I can vouch that the first is true. Girls are generally happier and more confident when they think they look good which explains why we put ourselves through the torture of waxing, plucking, straightening, and other unnamed horrors. As for the second reason, it could be true but I’ve never used it or felt a need to look nice around other girls or friends. I could be an exception though, because in general I stay out of the competitive arena with girls and wouldn’t be friends with someone who would judge me based on my looks. The third is sometimes true but not anywhere near as often as guys think. The messages girls think they are sending with clothes are far, far different than the messages boys receive from them. I’ll dissect this another time however, maybe with pictures as examples.

What I was getting to is that women should recognize that they have this weapon and utilize it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or to be deemed immoral; it’s completely natural, just the way that it is natural for guys to crave sex all the time. It’s evolutionary for us to make ourselves look good to get the best guy out there. Way back when, it was done out of necessity in order to survive since women were so dependent on men, but now, it’s less of a tool and has probably fallen by the wayside as a result.

The perfect example of the enormous power that can be wielded by women as a result of sex appeal is the play Lysistrata, written by Aristophanes during the time of Socrates. In it, all the women of Greece plot to end the Peloponnesian War by refusing to have sex with their husbands. The men go crazy having erections all over the place and in the end, the women grab the men’s attention by using a naked handmaid’s body as a map of Greece to decide land rights to end the war between Athens and Sparta. See how efficient women are? Although, I’m not sure that piece of fiction beats 300. See how modern we have become? We used to outline the Peloponnesian War by objectifying women’s bodies in fiction and now we objectify men’s with painfully obvious CGI’d eight packs.

Other awesome literature about women using sex appeal to get what they want: Gone With the Wind and Vanity Fair (although I still haven't gotten all the way through this one)