In the Beginning

Posted By: Kelly

Let me preface this entry with a couple of disclaimers.

#1 I am not a raving feminist; I'm just going to sound like one in this first post. Like South Park, Monica and I like to assume we are equal opportunity offenders and chances are we will poke fun at every side. Any generalizations we make are meant to be taken with a grain of salt; nothing is absolute and the women I'm about to describe are not the majority, but the elite set who actually have brains and independent spirits.

#2 I write a lot.

Throughout the course of history, women have often been scapegoats. They have been blamed as the sinful, stupid sex that has caused many of society’s problems. This is especially prevalent in religions such as Islam, which uses the Quran to justify stoning adulteresses to death today in many Middle Eastern societies, and until recently, in Christianity. Take the Salem witch trials; perfect example of a society that took its social and economic problems out on the women of the community. Still today, many churches do not allow women to become preachers and I’ve had to sit through a fair share of wedding ceremonies where the bride is lectured to “always obey her husband, the head of the household”.

Now, I’m not one to pity women for the struggles they have overcome; I’m not the sympathetic type. Sometimes I am tempted to think to myself, “Well, it’s partly their fault for never challenging the norms anyway”. But if there is one thing women are good at, it is putting on a front as a cheery little housewife and working damage control behind the scenes. Women get things done and have learned how to take shortcuts when it comes to dealing with men. The best way to illustrate this point is an example my government teacher, of all people, once mentioned.

He remarked that in ballroom dancing, the male always leads the female. He implied that this is what makes the dance flow so smoothly, because one must submit to the other’s dominance. Two men doing a ballroom dance together would be a comedic nightmare. But two women? I’m not so sure. This is because women know how to cooperate. They learned long ago that men are stubborn to death and in order to feel valuable, must be in charge. Therefore they took the higher stance and let the guy lead, not just in ballroom dancing but in many other life affairs. This is often seen as a sign of weakness, but really it just shows that women are more intelligent because they recognize a stalemate when they see one and know they can do more good under a mask of subservience than they ever would duking it out with the male primates. "The man might be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can twist the head any way she wants" (Kudos to Monica for the quote).

Jean-Jacques Rosseau’s philosophy on government also applies to the philosophy of the sexes when he said, “True freedom is the adherence to laws that one has imposed on oneself”. Just as the government rules by grace of the people’s consent, so do men “rule” by the sheer consent of women. As the real power lies with the people in government, so does the real power lie with the women in life (More on why they hold the real power later). If two women were paired for a ballroom dance, they could make it work because women know cooperation and don’t let their pride trip them up. But I digress.

Now, this whole theory of women being the origin of sin dates back to Genesis of course. How many times have you heard, “If it wasn’t for Eve eating the apple, mankind would be A-okay”? Men are so quick to thrust the blame on Eve by saying that she forced Adam into sin. But this completely contradicts their usual stance of men being in control…how convenient. Let’s get this straight: Eve, a woman, was tricked by the master manipulator himself, Satan, into eating the forbidden fruit. Then Adam, a man, is convinced by a mere mortal woman, who was created from his own flesh and bones, into eating said fruit. Eve was tricked by the master of sin and deception of fallen angels, Adam merely followed dumbly in the footsteps of the woman. From the very first human couple, it has been clear who really wears the pants in the relationship, or should I say the delicately placed leaf or loincloth?