Clinginess: The Deadly Killer of all Freshly Born Relationships- Part One

Posted By: Monica

So, relationships... not a teenage girl's best friend. But, contrary to prior thought, they can be. How is that possible, you ask? There are two pitfalls girls fall into. 1) Clinginess and 2) trying too hard. No, no there is no other secret formula you should know about. That really is it. In fact, guys don't want it to be a secret. This is one of the truths they are willing to tell you to your face. Why? Because they want you to change the behavior! Doesn't matter if you're Jessica Alba, clinginess guarantees the end of the relationship. So, how come so many girls are still having such problems with the mystery that is "a relationship"? That's easy, too. Ignorance is bliss. Females simply choose to ignore the fact that the answer lies in their faults. Denial is a comfort zone: it pets our egos and buys us time to think about what we are going to do next.

The way to go about fixing this situation is the way you would go about fixing any other situation. The first step is admitting you have a problem. No offense to my English teacher who is my literary mentor and a great one at that, but if you feel the need to hire someone to observe your date in order to find your "hidden" flaw, you have a problem. View it through the guy's perspective. You ask a woman out on a date, presumably because she has something special that seems to click with something inside of you. Under worst circumstances, she has something intruiging about her that made you ask her out instead of the business woman you pass every morning at Starbucks while getting your coffee. Or, even the Starbucks cashier herself. Anyway, you take time out of your schedule (however busy) to meet her and find out that, on your first dinner date, she has brought along an unusual companion: a "dating expert" she called it. At this point, wouldn't you be a bit weirded out? Of course! That feeling is natural! Here you are, trying to intimately get to know this intruiging woman and she has brought along someone to observe how well the date is going. This simply cannot work. Bringing along the unwanted third wheel to find her flaws tells the guy two things:

1. She is insecure.

2. There are flaws to find.

This is like walking into a restaurant and approaching your date with a large neon sign flashing the words "Might as well dump me, every other guy has and I can't figure out why." Starting to get the point, Ladies? Good.


Moral of today's story: Do not be clingy and never bring a third wheel on your date unless it's a cute puppy and your date likes dogs.