Let's Get Physical...Part 2!

By: Kelly

So the last post was mainly geared towards guys, so here's some kissing advice for girls in four parts:

Part One: Video Disclaimer. Watch this until 0:49-



Seriously, Mr. John Green is right. Don't rush or force anything. You will undoubtedly regret it. When it's the right time with the right person, you'll know.

Part Two. The following Q/A section comes from one of the Princess Diaries books, which although fiction, has some good advice.

1. Can a boy tell if the person he is with is inexperienced? How does an inexperienced kisser kiss (so I can avoid that)?

The guy may sense a feeling of nervousness coming from you, or that you are uneasy, but everyone is nervous when they are kissing someone new. It's natural! But kissng is easy to catch on to- believe me! An inexperienced kisser might break away too soon because he or she is scared or whatever. But that is normal. It's SUPPOSED to be weird. That's what makes it fun.

2. Is there such thing as a great kisser? If so, what are the qualifications? (So I know what to practice.)
Yes, there is such a thing as a great kisser. A great kisser is always affectionate and gentle and patient and not demanding.

3. How much pressure do you exert on his lips? I mean, do you push, or like in a handshake, are you just supposed to be firm? Or are you just supposed to stand there and let him do all the work?
If you want a gentle kiss (a caring one) don't apply too much pressure (this is also true if he is wearing braces- you don't want to cause any lacerations). If you give a guy a "harsh" kiss (too much pressure), he might think you are desperate or that you want to go further than you probably do.
Of course you aren't supposed to just stand there and let him do all the work: kiss him back! But always kiss him the way YOU want to be kissed. That is how guys learn. If we didn't show them how to do everything, we'd never get anywhere!


4. How do you know when it's time to stop?
Stop when he stops, or when you feel like you've had enough, or don't want to go any further. Just gently (so you don't freak him out) move your head back, or if the moment is right, you can change the kiss into a hug, then step back.

5. If you are in love with him, is it still gross?
Of course not! Kissing is always better with someone you actually like. Of course, even with someone you really like, kissing can be gross. Once Dave licked me on the chin and I was all, Get away. But I think that was by accident (the licking).

6. If he is in love with you, does he even care if you are bad? (Define bad kisser.)
If the guy likes/loves you, he won't care if you are a good kisser or not. In fact, even if you are a bad kisser, he will probably think you are a good one. And vice versa. He should like you for what you are- not how you kiss.
DEFINITION OF A BAD KISSER: A bad kisser is someone who gets your face all wet, slobbers on you, sticks his tongue in when you're not ready, has bad breath, OR sometimes there can be kissers whose tongues are all dry and prickly like a cactus but I have never experiences one of those, just heard about them.

7. When do you know if it's time to open your mouth (thus turning it into a French)?
You will probably feel his tongue touch your lips. If you want to pursue the idea, open your lips a little. If not, keep them closed.

Part Three. The Details. Let's see what John has to say one more time (1:06-1:38)



Part Four. Other random hypothetical questions. No one asked me these, but I know personally everyone asks them. I'll even formulate them as my younger self asking my older self:

Younger Kelly: Which way do you tilt your head?
Older Kelly: Well there's no specific right or wrong way but I googled it for you (bless your soul, you probably don't even know what google is) and apparently about 70% of people tilt their head to the right. To avoid nose collisions, just wait and see which direction your partner moves in. As long as you go slowly, it will probably feel natural. It probably won't ever even cross your mind.

Younger Kelly: Eyes closed or open? Isn't it kind of hard to do it with your eyes closed?
Older Kelly: CLOSED. I repeat, CLOSED. There is nothing more creepy than kissing someone and having them staring at you with their eyes wide open. It's not hard to do, don't worry. Again, it feels natural for most people to close their eyes and it won't require effort.

Younger Kelly: Is it awkward or weird?
Older Kelly: The first time, a little bit. But not for long.

Younger Kelly: How long do you kiss them?
Older Kelly: As long as you want. It's an efficient way to waste time.

Younger Kelly: Does practicing help?
Older Kelly: It can make you feel more confident beforehand. Technique-wise, no preparation except actual experience is going to help.

Younger Kelly: Is French kissing gross? It seems absolutely disgusting.
Older Kelly: Surprisingly, no. Not with someone you like.