Let's Get Something Straight...

By: Monica

Time to debunk a myth. Contrary to general thought, a guy should NOT tell a girl what she wants to hear. Surprised? Bear with me on this one, it’s going to get complicated.

There is only one reason for this, and it is the female’s fault. A woman THINKS she knows what she wants to hear, but she is oh, so very wrong. Because, in fact, that which she believes she wants to hear is exactly what she DOES NOT want to hear. I’m not talking about specific words or phrases, but of the general “sweet talk” that is so highly used in romance movies and associated with ideal men and (unrealistic) “changed” bad boys alike. In real life, a woman would cut the crap.

Example:

A Woman’s List of Perfect Character Traits in a Man:

1. Tells her he loves her every day.

2. Tells her she’s the only one for him.

3. Coos her to sleep during her emotional breakdowns.

4. Calls her every day to remind her of how special she is to him.

5. Tells her she is beautiful every chance he gets.

6. Supports her in everything she does/thinks without needing to understand.

7. Is sexy.


Now to prove that all of these traits should not be on a woman’s list because she really does not want them there:

1. Monotonous. Expected. Annoying. It WILL become annoying, I promise.

2. Though (I know) irrational, this makes a red light appear in woman’s brain that flashes, “You can do better!” Every girl wants to be part of someone’s life, not the entire thing. The second you make it clear that she is your only option, you do two things:

a. Awaken her to the world of men out there who don’t consider her their “only one”. She has already won you over, now you are boring and can be discarded. The saying goes, “marriage needs work.” Hell yeah it does. This is what women consider work. And they love it.

b. You have just set her future in stone (if you have it your way) and this will make her run. Who honestly wants to know how the rest of their life will turn out? I don’t want to know that you are the one I will end up being with. If you tell me I am your only option for a shot at love, I am going to get rid of that only shot for you. Sorry.

3. At this, my first reaction would be to tell you to “be a man”. But I realize that is harsh and that millions of girls will come at me with pitchforks (tomatoes for the little ones) for instructing men not to be the kind and sensitive lover they have always wanted. I get it. HOWEVER, the greatest comfort in life is knowing you have a rock. Not a second cry-buddy. That’s what your female friends (and maybe your mother) are for. Cooing is like ice cream: It makes you feel better at the beginning but too much will make you vomit. And, girls, you know deep in your heart that the best thing to do is get up and DO something. Get your mind off all the shit that is clogging up your life. That is basically where the rock comes in. It’s there for you to lean on when you need a break from chaos but it will also help you develop a tougher skin. Now, which sounds better?

4. Again, monotonous and annoying. The phrase isn’t that special if it’s said every day, is it?

5. AGAIN. Monotonous and annoying. Not to mention, if a girl hears this all the time then the moments she really needs to hear it, she won’t. She’ll hear the same words she’s been hearing for however long. It loses its touch after a while. Don’t wear it out.

6. This I never understood. Common sense tells you that you do not support something because someone tells you to support it, but because you understand it and agree. You do not vote for Obama because your friend tells you to, but because you agree with his political views on how the country should be run. You do not date someone because someone merely tells you they are a good person, but because you have witnessed it for yourself and agree. Common sense, right? Right. So, how can you expect someone to agree/support you in things they do not understand/agree with? I don’t get it. If you cannot convince someone or make a situation clear without it sounding crazy, you have no relevant premise. And on the opposite side, what man in their right mind would support something they do not understand? Tell me, HOW IS THIS REASONABLE? If a woman cannot fathom the fact that you would like a little clarity on the situation or if she cannot handle that you disagree with her, why would you want to waste your time with her anyway? Girls love to argue. We will pick a fight just to get some feedback from you. When you don’t catch on, we get bored.

7. Sexy is too feminine of a word. A female can be sexy. I’d rather a man be described by a manlier word. Okay, maybe that is just my opinion. However, if the item on the list was true, 95% of men that walk the Earth would not have anybody. Women have the ability to look past physical imperfections (jk) and appreciate someone for their depth. Honestly, women like any type. There is a reason why there are not crowds of men rushing into fitness centers. They don’t need to.

Make sense? There is a fine line between reality and what you see on the TV screen. The credit should really go to the film's soundtrack composers who do a great job of covering up the awkward silence in the background with inspiring and uplifting melodic lines that make you sigh in anticipation for that one kiss. Yes, they are hired for a reason.