How to Train Your Dragon

By: Kelly

Psst. I have a secret. Girls are dragons. No, really. About a week ago I saw the movie How to Train Your Dragon



(Highly recommend it, best movie I’ve seen in ages) and while I was watching it, I had a bit of a revelation. Bear with me while I ramble about the movie for a while, and then I will connect it back to girls.

The movie followed a pretty common plot line- kid finds wild animal, kid and animal form a special bond and learn to trust one another, blah blah blah. We’ve seen it before in Free Willy, Flicka, Two Brothers, and tons of other movies. The animal in these types of movies is always wild and scared and lashes out at people because it has been mistreated or simply because that is its natural instinct. In the movie, when Hiccup first approached the dragon, it would bare its teeth at him and threaten to kill him. But Hiccup persevered patiently and acted with caution, allowing the dragon to come to him. He took the time to observe the dragon to learn what would upset it so he could avoid those actions. While the rest of the Vikings in the movies viewed dragons as evil beasts that had to be killed, Hiccup learned to train them. While everyone else was brandishing axes and slingshots, he found their weaknesses- their blind spots, pressure points, favorite types of fish, etc. In doing so, he learned to “train” them. I put the word train in quotations because as we all know, no wild beasts can ever actually be tamed, as Shamu has tragically proven…However, if we are careful and respectful, it is possible for humans and animals to coexist. You just have to learn the animal’s rules. It’s the exact same with girls.

For all of you guys who say girls are confusing and impossible to understand, you are just like the Vikings in the movie. Repeat after me: “Everything we know about them is wrong.” You fail to see the true nature of the “dragons”. Many girls have trust issues because of their histories, and as I always say, as a member of the male species, you are responsible for every dick move another guy has taken against a girl. Just like a wild animal that has been chased by a hunter and is now afraid of every human it comes across, girls will be wary of all guys if they’ve been hurt badly enough. Plus, just as some animals are natural predators or fear humans to preserve their own survival, some girls are wired to be defensive or shy. It’s your job to get them to open up. Be like Hiccup, not the other Vikings. Brute force and other boyish methods will not work. You can’t take shortcuts- you have to try and get in their head and prove yourself to them. Hiccup showed his dragon, Toothless, that he was trustworthy by always acting consistently, moving slowly, and respecting Toothless. Guess what- those three steps work on “Dragon Girls” too. Oh, and to anyone out there who is offended by me comparing girls to beasts, don't be because I am the definition of a "Dragon Girl" and therefore have earned the right to call myself whatever names I want. Moving right along.

Two literary examples of “Dragon Girls” are Jo March from Little Women and Lena from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Here is a description of Jo as spoken by her love interest Laurie:

“You won’t give any one a chance,” said Laurie, with a side long glance and a little more colour than before in his sunburnt face. “You won’t show the soft side of your character; and if a fellow gets a peep at it by accident, and can’t help showing that he likes it, you treat him as Mrs. Gummidge did her sweetheart- throw cold water over him- and get so thorny no one dares touch or look at you.”

Laurie’s mistake was the same that so many guys make- he moved too quickly and too rashly. With girls like Jo who bristle up at anything even slightly romantic, you can’t be that straightforward. You have to learn to tread lightly and be subtle. Find her blind spots, just as Hiccup did. This isn’t a form of deceit or trickery, because trust is still the underlying force of the friendship. However, as we’ve said, the Game does involve some tactics that can be used to your advantage. You have to be a challenge. Don’t come on too strong, or she will run or bite back. Let the dragon come to you, as Kostos, Lena’s love interest did:

(This scene takes place in the middle of the night when Lena went to the house Kostos was staying at and woke him up. This was extremely out of the tentative Lena’s character.)

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked.
“What could I have said?”
“You could have been happy to see me or told me you still cared about me,” she suggested.
He laughed his rueful laugh again. “Lena, I know how you are.”
Lena wished she knew. “How am I?”
“If I come close, you run away. If I stay still then maybe, slowly, you might come.”
Was she like that?
“And Lena?”
“Yes?”
“I am happy to see you and I still care about you” he said.

That ladies and gentlemen, is how you train your dragon. If you fall for a Dragon Girl and grow frustrated because she is so “wild” and unpredictable, and impossible to catch, don’t be discouraged. Think about it- sure, it might have been easier to just buy a dog but where would be the fun in that? All great things come with a price. Normal girls are boring and predictable but dragons- you can fly with dragons. Don’t let the fiery girls scare you off; they're huge softies on the inside. That's why they work twice as hard to protect their hearts- they fall harder and feel more deeply than anyone else. Once you do gain their trust, they make the best of lovers. But maybe I'm a little biased.